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January 21, 2010
The Gift (2000)
Should I see it?
Nope


Short Review: The real gift is if this movie came with a complimentary barf bag.



Billy Bob Thornton can’t write.

Let’s be clear, neither can I. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed my atrocious grammar. I understand I am chucking big ol’ cinder blocks at William’s glass house, but I must.

Billy Bob Thornton can’t write.

This film is a drifting, condescending bore. Even with a very talented cast (Cate Blanchett, Greg Kinnear, Giovanni Ribisi, JK Simmons, Gary Cole and Hilary Swank) and one of the best working directors, Sam Raimi, this film is like eating paste dipped in rotten flour. It’s bland and yet leaves an awful taste in your mouth.

Billy Bob is a very talented actor, but I refuse to give him credit for his script work. I need only this film and Sling Blade to buttress my complaint. This guy’s work is first of all BORING. Not just slow, but produces a soul-pounding boredom - listening to Ben Stein reading the collected works of James Joyce boring. Moreover, he hates southerners. Sure, Billy Bob’s name is Billy Bob, but this guy’s writing pokes the South in the eye at every turn. To view his work, you’d think no one below the Mason-Dixon line has any real value. Can we have yet another presentation of a dim eyed, drunken, slacked jawed yokel beating his wife? These guys exist sure, but can we have the other side of the coin every once in a while?

Are there positive sides to this film? No, not really. It’s not a complete loss, but there’s nothing here to recommend either. It’s a bland, lifeless movie waiting for its turn in the bargain bin at your video store. Which is where it belongs.


Related Reviews:
Greg Kinnear movies
Unknown (2006)
Ghost Town (2008)


Other Critic's Reviews:
ReelFilmCritic.com
PopMatters



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posted by Michelle Obama's Left Nut at 8:00 AM



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December 6, 2009
Movie Trailer: Avatar
I cannot express how stupid this looks.

James Cameron isn't a chump and he has an incredible track record. That said, this looks like The Abyss in space. I can't imagine sitting there looking at those stupid alien creatures and buying it.

Is it me or is this thing dripping with P.C. sanctimony?



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Screenwriter: James Cameron (Rambo: First Blood Part II)
Director: James Cameron (The Terminator)
Actors: Zoe Saldana (Star Trek), Sam Worthington (Terminator Salvation), Sigourney Weaver (Alien), Michelle Rodriguez (Girl Fight), Stephen Lang (Gods and Generals), Giovanni Ribisi (Saving Private Ryan) and CHH Pounder (Orphan)




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posted by Michelle Obama's Left Nut at 6:00 PM



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March 11, 2009
Movie Trailer: Public Enemies
Not sure the music really works for a period piece.

It works for schlocky Hollywood crap though.

This could be a good piece of fluff, no-mind cinema. Could just be another lionization of criminals too.



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Screenwriters: Ronan Bennett (The Hamburg Cell), Michael Mann (Miami Vice) and Ann Biderman (Primal Fear)
Director: Michael Mann (The Insider)
Actors: Johnny Depp (Finding Neverland), Christian Bale (The Dark Knight), Billy Crudup (Watchmen), Marion Cotillard (A Good Year), Stephen Dorff (Blade), Giovanni Ribisi (Boiler Room), Rory Cochrane (Right at Your Door), Stephen Lang (Gods and Generals) Lily Taylor (Household Saints) and Matt Craven (Jacob's Ladder)




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posted by Michelle Obama's Left Nut at 6:00 PM



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