Short Review: The real gift is if this movie came with a complimentary barf bag.


Billy Bob Thornton can’t write.

Let’s be clear, neither can I. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed my atrocious grammar. I understand I am chucking big ol’ cinder blocks at William’s glass house, but I must.

Billy Bob Thornton can’t write.

This film is a drifting, condescending bore. Even with a very talented cast (Cate Blanchett, Greg Kinnear, Giovanni Ribisi, JK Simmons, Gary Cole and Hilary Swank) and one of the best working directors, Sam Raimi, this film is like eating paste dipped in rotten flour. It’s bland and yet leaves an awful taste in your mouth.

Billy Bob is a very talented actor, but I refuse to give him credit for his script work. I need only this film and Sling Blade to buttress my complaint. This guy’s work is first of all BORING. Not just slow, but produces a soul-pounding boredom - listening to Ben Stein reading the collected works of James Joyce boring. Moreover, he hates southerners. Sure, Billy Bob’s name is Billy Bob, but this guy’s writing pokes the South in the eye at every turn. To view his work, you’d think no one below the Mason-Dixon line has any real value. Can we have yet another presentation of a dim eyed, drunken, slacked jawed yokel beating his wife? These guys exist sure, but can we have the other side of the coin every once in a while?

Are there positive sides to this film? No, not really. It’s not a complete loss, but there’s nothing here to recommend either. It’s a bland, lifeless movie waiting for its turn in the bargain bin at your video store. Which is where it belongs.


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Other Critic's Reviews:
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Labels: Billy Bob Thornton, Cate Blanchett, film, Gary Cole, Giovanni Ribisi, Greg Kinnear, Hilary Swank, JK Simmons, Katie Holmes, Keanu Reeves, Michael Jeter, movie review, Sam Raimi

Short Review: Drag me to hell, just don't drag me to this movie.


Is this film is as good as Sam Raimi's Evil Dead films? Nope. Its not even close. Raimi goes back to his schlock horror movie roots with this straight forward horror story about a young woman who gets cursed by a gypsy and is then tormented by a demon on a mission to take her to Hades. There's hints of his humor, moments of his inventiveness, but its clear the youthful spark is missing. This is more of an ode to his earlier films rather than an addition to them. It is too clean and careful where his early films were kinetic.

Another deficieny is the lead. The Evil Dead movies largely succeeded because of the mixture of Raimi and his lead Bruce Campbell. Campbell's genius for camp combined with Raimi's quirky style worked beautifully. Here, Raimi's lead Alison Lohman (Matchstick Men) is too plain to add anything to the proceedings. While she looks the part of a country girl trying to make it in the big city, Lohman seems out of place with the humor. It is as if she wasn't in on the joke. Where Campbell could carry a scene with a well executed smirk, Lohman is doe-eyed and flat.

Looking at this divorced from Raimi's history, it still doesn't mount up to much. The story is simple and strong but Raimi doesn't take it as far enough. Its not scary enough to be a useful horror movie and its not funny enough to be a comedy. Since there's no other purpose for making a movie like this, we've run out of reasons to see it.



Related Reviews:
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Scream (1996)
The Shining (1980)


Other Critic's Reviews:
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Labels: Alison Lohman, film, horror, Justin Long, movie review, Sam Raimi

Screenwriters: Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead) and Ivan Raimi (Army of Darkness)
Director: Sam Raimi (Spider-Man)
Actors: Alison Lohman (Beowulf), Justin Long (Idiocracy) and David Paymer (Mr. Saturday Night)

Labels: Alison Lohman, David Paymer, film, Justin Long, movie trailer, Sam Raimi