Looking for a specific film review? CLICK BELOW

0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z / Trailers / DVD Store


March 16, 2010
Pandorum (2009)
Should I see it?
No.


A pair of astronauts, Payton (Dennis Quaid) and Bower (Ben Foster) wake from hibernation to find they are wrought with amnesia and their big ship is out of commission. Bower heads out to to recon the situation and finds creepy aliens are doing what creepy alien do -namely eating nameless astronaut guys in front of named astronaut guys. Of course there are the obligatory moments of peril as the aliens hunt down aforementioned nameless astro-fodder with the expected sanguinary results.

"Obligatory" and "expected" are two words that can be applied to most aspects of this film. There is precious little that is unique to this production. Overall, this is a patchwork of other films and stories all laced together into an unsatisfying whole. The average viewer will most likely have the sneaky suspicion they have seen this scene or that event before - this is because they have.

The film doesn't advance the genre and it doesn't offer an inventive script. If you are going to spend your time sitting in front of a sci-fi flick, I suggest going back to the basics (Alien, Stalker, The Lathe of Heaven, etc.) instead of wadding through this mish-mash of a genre rehash.




Related Reviews:
Ben Foster movies
X-Men: the Last Stand (2006)
3:10 to Yuma (2007)


Other Critic’s Reviews:
The Final Girl
The L.A. Times



Labels: , , , ,



Share






January 20, 2010
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (2009)
Should I see it?
Are you kidding? You have to ask? Really?



No seriously, you can't figure this one out for yourself?









What?








Okay, fine. The answer is no. Don't bother seeing this terrible, unneeded, wasteful production. If you are over the age of, say, six, and this speaks to you, you need to go live in a home. You probably shouldn't be allowed to make independent decisions and walk the streets.




Related Reviews:
Dennis Quaid movies
Vantage Point (2007)
The Rookie (2002)


Other Critic’s Reviews:
The Phantom Tollbooth
Cinematical




Labels: , , , , , , , ,



Share






November 28, 2009
Movie Trailer: Legion
This flick has as much to do with the Bible as Saw III has to do with Where the Red Fern Grows.

I tripled checked and I couldn't find the place in Bible where the angels fight each other with bazookas. Is this one of those Mormon things?







Screenwriter: Scott Stewart
Directors: Peter Schink and Scott Stewart
Actors: Dennis Quaid (Vantage Point), Paul Bettany (The Da Vinci Code), Kevin Durand (Smokin' Aces), Doug Jones (Hellboy II: The Golden Army) and Charles S. Dutton (Gothika)




Labels: , , , , , ,



Share






March 9, 2009
Movie Trailer: Pandorum
I'm conflicted - I was very impressed with Christian Alvart's Antikörper, so having him at the helm is a good sign.

But then there's Dennis Quaid - not exactly a paragon of quality cinema.

Looking at this it appears to be yet another descendant of Alien with a little Sunshine tossed in for good measure. Alvart successfully reworked the Silence of the Lambs concept previously, it is possible he's got something up his sleeve in this case as well.

But then there's that lingering issue of Quaid.





Screenwriter: Travis Milloy
Director:
Christian Alvart (Antikörper)
Actors: Ben Foster (30 Days of Night), Dennis Quaid (Vantage Point), Cam Gigandet (Twilight) and Antje Traue (Berlin by the Sea)




Labels: , , , ,



Share






March 1, 2009
Movie Trailer: Battle for Terra
Let's get this straight, the bad guys are humans who, needing to survive, attack an inhabitable planet full of doe-eyed goofy aliens. The humans facing extinction are the bad guys for doing what they need to do in order for the SPECIES to survive. Why is it that leftists blab on about the beauty of Darwinism and the survival of the fittest while also whining when any humans follow its tenants and win?

Here's a clue to all you peaceniks out there, if you and I are stuck on an island and there's only one cave available for shelter - I'm getting the cave. I'm a Christian and I will probably share, but the first order of things is - I'm getting the cave. It doesn't make me evil, it makes me survive. Is the lesson of this film that we should put aside our natural desire for survival for some hollow leftist bromide?

We REALLY need to have a full discussion on what kind of dangerous self-destructive crap we're teaching our kids.




Return to the movie trailers page


Screenwriters: Evan Spiliotopoulos (The Jungle Book 2)
Director:
Aristomenis Tsirbas
Actors: Brian Cox (Supertroopers), Evan Rachel Wood (The Wrestler), Luke Wilson (Henry Poole is Here), David Cross (The Grand), Amanda Peet (The Whole Nine Yards) and Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow)




Labels: , , , , , , ,



Share






February 12, 2009
The Alamo (2005)
Should I see it?
No.


Short Review:
If the men at the Alamo had known this would be the film that would memorialize their final stand, they would have fought harder to win.

The Alamo

No one likes a long-winded, boring, Hollywood epic more than me. I just love wasting the precious hours of my waning existence on poorly scripted monstrosities like this. It really gives my life that extra boost of meaninglessness it so richly needs.

Unlike the filmmakers, I will keep this as short as possible. Do yourself a huge favor. Instead of renting and watching this ode to watching paint dry, research and write your own script about the Alamo. The process will take less time, and will far more enjoyable for you


Related Reviews:
Dennis Quaid movies
The Rookie (2002)
In Good Company (2004)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Old School Reviews
Pop Matters


Labels: , , ,



Share






February 11, 2009
Movie Trailer: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
I want to thank Roland Emmerich for giving us the specific shot of the destruction of a recognizable public monument (The White House in Independence Day, the Statue of Liberty in Cloverfield and Emmerich's The Day After Tomorrow, the Eiffel Tower in this film) as a touchstone for bloated McMovies. Here the simple rule: if you see a piece of architecture you recognize being destroyed, the movie has a 99% chance of stinking. The leaping ninjas and the fact this is based on a collection of dolls and cartoons go to support this conclusion.



Return to the movie trailers page


Screenwriters: Stuart Beattie (30 Days of Night), David Elliot (Four Brothers) and Paul Lovett (Four Brothers)
Director:
Stephen Sommers (The Mummy)
Actors: Dennis Quaid (D.O.A.), Channing Tatum (Fighting), Marlon Wayons (The Ladykillers), Sienna Miller (Stardust), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Brick), Rachel Nichols (Resurrecting the Champ) and Jonathan Pryce (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl)

Labels: , , , , , ,



Share






February 10, 2009
The Express (2008)
Should I see it?
No.



The “first black to do x” template (in particular in relation to sports movies) is tedious and it has to go. The Civil Rights struggle was a struggle, point taken. Does this mean we have to work over the issue the same exact way a hundred times?

It is saying something that Hollywood has to continue to dip back forty plus years to find instances of notable racism in American society. Today are there still divides? Sure, there always will be and those divides go both ways. The fact is the Civil Rights Era has brought fruit and this continual mulling over the past is unhealthy, not because it’s wrong to investigate our collective pasts but because it way its presented and how it shades our lives today. The point of these films (Men of Honor, Glory Road, Pride, and on and on) is not to show how far we’ve come, but to chain today to past sins. These sins committed by people most of never knew, or are even related to. Blacks are reminded that they were second class citizens, and white are reminded that they’re all budding racists who should be filled with shame. In these films some pragmatic white, who will benefit directly from the inclusion of blacks, crosses the divide. He’s still spoiled by racism but he can ignore his impulses long enough to get what he wants. In non-sports related Civil Rights Era movies (Mississippi Burning, Ghosts of Mississippi, even Hairspray) the minorities are spared by strong-willed white liberals (almost all East Coast lawyers (Hairspray being an obvious exception) who battle the seething crackers.

This particular production is frustrating because Ernie Davis is a legitimate subject for a film. The problem is that this film never rises above the conventions of the underdog/Civil Rights sports movie. The template is simple: the blacks are brought in and the whites get nervous. The blacks are all helpful, somewhat meek, and hold mild racist views of their own. It is the whites who are burdened by the curse of racism. There is the obligatory scene where the racism of society acts as a wedge in a conversation or social situation. This is often done around a meal where the pragmatic white is cornered by a question or statement which has the subtext of “the world sure is racist!” The pragmatic white has his uncomfortable moment and is forced to slowly chew his food while he fumbles for something to say. Then there are the unprompted threats from white teens. These are usually met by the proud, dominate black teen who stands up to them at which point the white devils melt in fear. So on and so forth. Again, it isn’t that the issue of racism is raised, it should be discussed. The trouble is that the topic of racism is handled in such an obvious and pedestrian fashion. All of this leads to the final half where the blacks integrate and tensions rise until whites learn that blacks can be useful (meaning they can score points in games and win championships) and then everyone gets along. The black players get respect, not because they’re men worthy of dignity and respect, but because they’re useful in a particular social activity. The structure should be offensive to a certain degree since it assumes white racism and casts blacks as being defined by the approval of whites.

It is possible people look at these race-based sports films as being great underdog stories. The underdog aspect of the narratives is there and there are some interesting stories to be mined. I’m left wondering however, if these films are more than blatant social engineering pieces and actually about showing an underdog story then why aren’t there similar movies about Asians, Hispanics or other minorities? Were their struggles for equality missing teachable moments? Where is the story of the first Asian NBA player Wataru Misaka or others? Other minorities are not covered in this fashion because it doesn’t fit the accepted narrative of the country where racism has a hierarchy of pain and embarrassment. According to Hollywood Asians had nothing to do with the history of America until Japanese Americas popped up in 1940 to be rounded-up by the Democratic Administration. Mexicans had little to do with the development of the country other than rushing the Alamo. This is also why we don’t see many positive films about African Americans coming out of Hollywood. It doesn’t fit the template. Other than Tyler Perry where are the uplifting stories focusing on African Americans that show them in a framework outside of being held down by whites? The Civil Rights Era was half a century ago, have we really made so little progress? Will Smith’s Pursuit of Happyness comes to mind but even that had its race/class moments. Why can't Hollywood conceive of showing African Amercians excelling in areas of real importance? Why is it always something ultimately as useless as sports? No, don't bother with Thurgood Marshall, Ralph J. Bunche, Hiram Revels, or Congressional Medal of Honor winner William H. Carney, we're going to stick with football.

I call for a twenty year moratorium on Civil Right Era films, in particular the sports-based ones. Film makers should be forced to show African Americans as they are today, in today’s world not in some navel gazing look at what our grandparent’s or great grandparent’s generations were doing. This will provide us with stories about a nearly untouched aspect of American society (actual positive looks at black America) and will work to undo the destructive stereotypes and canards propagated by our media (against both whites and blacks.)

Giving a final look at this movie, as mentioned above, it is a shame this doesn't work since Davis’ story is an interesting one. As a sports film it doesn’t make the grade because it doesn’t dredge up enough tension. The scenes aren't horrible but they're lacking any drive, any life. In addition, visually this is a very conservative film and there is no innovative moves to make the football sequences stick in the memory. As with the rest of the film, the games pass in and out without much impact. There are better sports films. There are better Civil Rights films. Since that's the case there is no reason to see this one.


Related Reviews:
Sports movies
We Are Marshall (2006)
The Rookie (2002)


Other Critic's Reviews:
eFilmCritic
Spirituality and Practice

Labels: , , ,



Share






December 15, 2008
Vantage Point (2007)
Should I see it?
No.

Vantage Point

The first act of this film is quite good and sets up what promises to be an enthralling thriller. The rest of the film works diligently to dismantle this effective opening. Dennis Quaid heads up an ensemble cast in this film about an assassination attempt on the President of the United States. The film unfolds by showing multiple viewpoints of the crime while also uncovering the conspiracy that lead to the shooting. The film presents these layers carefully and does well to keep things clear and unconfused. The film fails because the conspiracy just isn't that interesting and many aspects of the film are predictable. This is a properly structured film but it's not a smart one.


Related Reviews:
Dennis Quaid movies
The Rookie (2002)
In Good Company (2004)



Other Critic's Reviews:
The Daily Beaconline
Desert Entertainer


Labels: , , , , ,



Share






October 6, 2008
The Rookie (2002)
Should I see it?
Yes.

The Rookie

This is a pleasant film. Inspiring and upbeat, this picture about a high school baseball coach who breaks into the major league is a breath of fresh air. Dennis Quaid is perfectly cast in the lead and is helped by a solid script and strong supporting cast. Good comfort cinema is exceedingly rare these days. Rent it and enjoy.


Related Reviews:
Sports movies
Mystery, Alaska (1999)
Glory Road (2006)



Other Critic's Reviews:
ScreenIt!
Roger Ebert


Labels: , , , , ,



Share






August 3, 2008
Movie Trailer: The Express
Yet another African-American first put to film. This time its the story of Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy. Listen, good for Mr. Davis, sure he's a great guy and congrats on his historic achievement, but as a culture can we put this Civil Rights navel gazing away already? How many African-American firsts in sports do we need have movies about? If we're going to dip back fifty years to study the racism of previous generations, why do we need to concentrate on sports? Is it Hollywood can't conceive having Africans excelling in areas of real importance? No, don't bother with Thurgood Marshall, Ralph J. Bunche, Hiram Revels, or Congressional Medal of Honor winner William H. Carney, we're going to stick with football.

At least this one appears to focus on the black man instead of his white coach. Its common with Hollywood Civil Rights movies for the focus to fall on the brave whites who stand up for their black pals (see Glory Road for a good example). I can't say this trailer doesn't do much to impress. Dennis Quaid isn't exactly the sign of quality and as I've said, the topic is tired.






Screenwriter: Charles Leavitt (Blood Diamond)
Director: Gary Fleder (Runaway Jury)
Actors: Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow), Clancy Brown (Highlander), Darrin Dewitt Henson (The Last Stand), and Charles S. Dutton (Gothika)

Labels: , , , ,



Share