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January 29, 2010
Movie Trailer: Shrek Forever After
That scrunching sound you're hearing is Dreamworks wringing the final drops out of this franchise.




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Screenwriters: Josh Klausner (Shrek the Third) and Darren Lemke
Director: Mike Mitchell (Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo)
Actors: Mike Myers (The Cat in the Hat), Cameron Diaz (Charlies' Angels), Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls), Antonio Banderas (Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!), Julie Andrews (The Sound of Music) and Justin Timerberlake (Alpha Dog)




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January 7, 2010
Movie Trailer: Knight and Day
Oh goodie, a cheeseball action flick with Cameron Diaz screaming the whole time. Geez, I guess miracles do happen.

I had to watch this trailer twice to make sure it's was as stupid on the second go-around. It is.




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Screenwriter: Patrick O'Neill
Director: James Mangold (Cop Land)
Actors: Tom Cruise (Vanilla Sky), Cameron Diaz (The Mask), Maggie Grace (Taken), Peter Sarsgaard (Jarhead), Paul Dano (There Will Be Blood) and Viola Davis (Disturbia)




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May 15, 2009
Movie Trailer: My Sister's Keeper
So the parents of a kid with Leukemia have another kid artificially created to act as a donor for the older child. The younger kid, the spare parts kid, is so used by her parents she's forced to sue them for emancipation.

Wouldn't the parents be brought up on child abuse charges?

Of course, the underlying aspect of this is abortion. This is why she says "its my body and I want to decide what to do with it." The extreme case used to propose the notion of a child's individual right to make decisions on their health care - meaning, abortion. You can't argue this character should be spared her parent's cruelty. Once the argument is won then it is extended on to other cases, like abortion. This is how legalities work and this is the point here. If the girl can say her parents do not have the right to demand she give blood transfusions or a kidney, in this extreme case, how can they demand she not get an abortion? The notion of children being given legal standing is goofy on its face given that they're children. Bring the parents up on charges and put the kid into a proper, loving home - movie done, another social agenda flick thwarted.

Now granted, I have not seen the movie and I'm basing my conclusions on the trailer and other information I've gathered from the marketing campaign, so I could be way off. I doubt it. I've seen enough of these social engineering movies to spot one when it comes by. Looking past my assumptions on the film's point, the work itself seems pretty stock stuff. Very conventional trailer, no signature design work and the dialog sounds very on-the-nose and forced. If I were a betting man, I'd say this has a very short run and is dispensed to the DVD shelves pretty quick.






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Screenwriters: Jeremy Leven (The Legend of Bagger Vance) and Nick Cassavetes (Blow)
Director: Nick Cassavetes (The Notebook)
Actors: Abigail Breslin (Nim's Island), Sofia Vassilieva, Cameron Diaz (There's Something About Mary), Jason Patric (Speed 2: Cruise Control) and Alec Baldwin (The Good Shepherd)




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March 20, 2009
Shrek (2001)
Should I see it?
Probably not.



Classic fairy tales updated with a sardonic post-modern viewpoint and fart jokes. This isn’t without its charm, despite the unnecessary sexual and scatological humor and it does contain some genuinely funny moments. Our culture has dropped a few levels which is why this is so beloved today. In decades past this would have been called out for what it is, classics smudged with bathroom humor.

I advise against the film since it is a deconstruction of useful fairy tales and replaces them with a hollow, modern gag fest. The film has nothing of value to impart except being an amusing waste of time. While kids may enjoy the movie, isn’t it better for them to become acquainted with better films? To come to know the classics which were made to entertain but with a respect for the audience? Why submit your kid to a life of butt-jokes and dick humor? Drop this nonsense and get them in front of Laurel and Hardy, old Walt Disney or Looney Tunes.


Related Reviews:
Animated movies
Charlotte's Web (2006)
Monsters, Inc. (2001)


Other Critic’s Reviews:
Hollywood Jesus
Need Coffee




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September 29, 2008
The Mask (1994)
Should I see it?
No.

The Mask

Released at the height of Jim Carrey’s rise to fame this film tries VERY hard to be funny. It succeeds in being obnoxious more than anything else. Stanley Ipkiss (Carrey) is a loser who finds a mysterious mask which when worn turns him into his alter-ego, a green-faced trickster. Not Carrey’s best work, but not his worst. The film co-stars Cameron Diaz in the role that introduced her to a broad audience.


Related Reviews:
Jim Carrey movies
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
The Number 23 (2007)



Other Critic's Reviews:
Roger Ebert
Qwipster's Film Reviews



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May 9, 2008
Vanilla Sky (2001)
Should I see it?
No - please no.



Its always painful to watch a movie that isn't nearly as clever as its creators think it is. Cameron Crowe is generally creates likable if not whimsical movies (Almost Famous, Jerry Maquire, Say Anything, Singles)...generally. This movie about a completely unlikable publisher who falls for a Spanish chick and therefore jilting a blond chick (played by Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz respectfully - apparently the guy is attracted to skinny girls who aren't nearly as pretty as the media wants us to believe they are) and then gets involved in a car crash which in turn sends him into this meandering surreal (read nonsensical) tour of his own psyche. Cruise tries way too hard propping up a detestable character and making his trails interesting. Cruz is typically abysmal - apparently she believes batting her big eyes is a way of developing a character arc. Cruz with her chirping voice and stilted emoting, is more a piece of furniture than an active player on screen. She's like an abstract piece of art that squeaks words when disturbed.

This a true cinematic disaster. Cruise struggles through every scene with a desperate performance that easily stands as his worst on screen effort. The script by Alejandro Amenabar and Mateo Gil (for their original version of the film Abre Los Ojos) is disjointed and contains a disappointing resolution. The disappointment at the end is probably the biggest emotion that the viewer will be allowed by this vapid work.

As a rule, films with surreal elements tend to be haughty and self-interested affairs. This movie fits this mold and has the additional curse of not having a point. The whole affair is reminiscent of Cruise's semi-public, private relationships - tons of emotional straining, strange statements and actions delivered through disturbingly contrived dramatics all leading to a resolution that is messy and deeply embarrassing for everyone involved.


Related Reviews:
Tom Cruise movies
The Last Samurai (2003)
Collateral (2004)


Other Critic's Reviews:
The Washington Post
PopMatters



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