Short Review: Having Mike Myers perform in a kid's movie is like having Charles Manson teach a course on anger management.



This film is an abomination, but we get what we ask for.

Everyone knows film don’t matter right? We go to the theater, or turn on cable and turn our brains off. We all just want to be entertained. It’s just a movie.

This film is the result of attitudes like I mention above. We have spent our lives ambivalent to what the leftists, perverts and turd merchants have been doing to our culture for the sake of agenda and dollars. We have allowed the lowest forms of our society lower our standards down to their level. We have sat idly by while our entertainment has become a bustling carnival of pornographic idiocy.

We’ve made our bed, but I don’t want to sleep in it.

This film, although a few years old, should be a sound alert to those who still care that a time has come to make a change. This film clearly made for the youngest of audiences and uses the allure of a classic of children’s literature to draw audiences in. The production has the banner of Seuss to give it a facade of legitimacy. It is far from legit. This production has a flagrant disregard for the honorable work it is based on and any audience unfortunate to see it. Where this could have been an enchanting ode to the classic, we have cheap butt humor and swearing.

Mike Myers is not a brilliant comedian. He mugs for the camera and offers the lowest of humor. He peddles in groin jokes and is lauded by society as a master of the form. In The Cat In The Hat we are shown his complete lack of self-control or inventiveness. The character is nothing more than a faded copy of Austin Powers with slightly less rutting.

Parents, do not be fooled by the sign out front. This is nothing but poison for your children. This children’s film offers your kids erection jokes, cleavage, swearing (they cut the words off with bleeps or other loud noises) rectal and urination jokes and that’s what I can come up with off the top of my head.


The entertainment you allow your children to consume is a critical choice for all parents. It shapes your child’s thinking and value system. Allow you kid to watch filth such as this and you’re pleading for trouble. Have some respect for your kids. Demand more from those who wish to spend time with them. Do not allow the turd merchants to debase your kids for the sake of a quick buck. Keep them and yourself away from this movie.


Related Reviews:
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The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)
Curious George (2006)


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Labels: adaptation, Alec Baldwin, Dakota Fanning, Dan Castellaneta, Kelly Preston, Mike Myers, Sean Hayes

Screenwriters: Josh Klausner (Shrek the Third) and Darren Lemke
Director: Mike Mitchell (Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo)
Actors: Mike Myers (The Cat in the Hat), Cameron Diaz (Charlies' Angels), Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls), Antonio Banderas (Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!), Julie Andrews (The Sound of Music) and Justin Timerberlake (Alpha Dog)

Labels: Amy Sedaris, Antonio Banderas, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Eric Idle, film, Julie Andrews, Justin Timberlake, Maya Rudolph, Mike Myers, movie trailer

Classic fairy tales updated with a sardonic post-modern viewpoint and fart jokes. This isn’t without its charm, despite the unnecessary sexual and scatological humor and it does contain some genuinely funny moments. Our culture has dropped a few levels which is why this is so beloved today. In decades past this would have been called out for what it is, classics smudged with bathroom humor.

I advise against the film since it is a deconstruction of useful fairy tales and replaces them with a hollow, modern gag fest. The film has nothing of value to impart except being an amusing waste of time. While kids may enjoy the movie, isn’t it better for them to become acquainted with better films? To come to know the classics which were made to entertain but with a respect for the audience? Why submit your kid to a life of butt-jokes and dick humor? Drop this nonsense and get them in front of Laurel and Hardy, old Walt Disney or Looney Tunes.


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Labels: animated, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, film, Mike Myers, movie review

Short Review: This may be one of the only films where more people worked on the film than have actually watched it.


This film was originally slated for release in late 2001. After the 9/11 attacks the movie was shelved because it supposedly makes fun of sky waitresses..err, flight attendants. Not to mock the 9/11 connection, I don't see why this film was ever released at all. If this bomb doesn't make the cut for some form of domestic terrorism, what does?

This monstrous wreck defies any granule of logic as to why it was ever made. To think that at sometime, someone pitched this idea to another human being and that human being nodded their head in agreement. It makes me weep for our species.

The highlight of the movie is Mike Myers. Granted, he is horrible in this movie, he's just stinks the least. The rest of the cast is completely asleep. I swear I saw Kelly Preston checking her watch at one point as she waited for her screen time to end.

I've been contemplating beginning an online petition to force Gwen Paltrow to publicly apologize for this movie. The problem, of course, is that such a petition would assume that others have actually seen this thing.


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Labels: film, Gweneth Paltrow, Mike Myers, movie review

Screenwriter: Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs)
Director: Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction)
Actors: Brad Pitt (12 Monkeys), Diane Kruger (National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets), Eli Roth (Death Proof), Mike Myers (The Cat in the Hat) and Samuel L. Jackson (Snakes on a Plane)

Labels: Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, film, Mike Myers, movie trailer, Quentin Tarantino, Samuel L Jackson, World War II