Short Review: After the first three hours, I was willing to claim I was the Zodiac killer just to get this thing over with.

Your life is as miserable and boring as ever. Watching a deadpan movie with a running time of over two and a half hours about a murderous loser and the failed attempts to catch him is the last thing you need. Try to liven up your day by peeling that lazy butt of yours off of the couch and go outside.
Your sister will call today. Don’t pick up. Seriously, don’t do it. That witch will drive you nuts. Honestly, what has she ever done for you? If you weren’t blood, you probably would have abandoned her ten years ago. She’s just like another in a long line of “serial killer” movies. She plays on the worst and darkest parts of your personality, wastes your time and gives you little in return. The knowledge that you can’t make Mint Julips with Jägermeister comes about ten hours too late. You also discover it is a bad idea to do this experiment right before your company’s summer picnic. It is best to avoid a movie involving seeing Robert Downey Jr. overacting. His futile attempt at nabbing that best supporting actor nod may remind you of your own pathetic missteps in front of your boss. As it turns out, while your boss’ wife does indeed have a mustache, she’s not nearly as amused by it as you are. Suffice to say, you won’t get fired soon, but you can rest assured you’re never – never – going to get that promotion. Just resign yourself to your fate. The sooner you come to understand you have yourself to blame the better off you’ll be. You’re cancer, people tend to want to avoid you. Much like they will want to avoid David Fincher’s boring film. He is one of the best directors out there, but this thing is a droning, mismanaged disaster. He has too many characters not doing enough over too long of a time. When the belated final resolution rolls in, the original spark of the film has already packed its bags and went home in a huff. Editing, David, its called editing. Copious amounts would have done this film wonders. Remember that thing you did with those guys with the thing that time way back over at that place? Yeah, that’s coming back to rear its ugly head. There’s nothing about a movie here, I thought I’d just warn you and also say "ew".

Much of the day will be like finding yourself in a murder mystery where the killer is revealed way too early, and the storyline doesn't have enough depth to support an extended act where said killer evades indictment. Like the movie, you’ll wander around for hours despondent and desperately wanting something – anything interesting to happen. The surprise left out of your brief slice of life will sap any reason for experiencing it. You will have to make your own fun today. You’re sensitive today. Yes, those uncontrollable crying fits are back. Face it, he’s not coming back. Your years of concentrating on your appearance and social status have caused your intellect to atrophy. Your mind is an unbearable hole where random thoughts go to die. Of course he left, you may be pretty and have shiny hair but you can’t talk about anything more complicated than reruns of Sex in the City. Pretty girls may have more fun but smart girls end up happier. With the intellectual vacuum you exist in, you may naturally fall back on wanting to forget your troubles by looking at some hunky guy. If you’re into that Jake Gyllenhaal goof, try one of his other movies. While he does a fine job in this, he looks like he’s been awake for thirty years. You know you’re in trouble when you’re standing next to Robert Downey Jr. and you’re the one who looks under the weather. When I say try one of his other movies, you’re going to want to avoid Brokeback Mountain as well…unless you’re into rutting cowboys. Then again if you are, then maybe your boyfriend left for entirely different reasons than we've explored here. Avoid engaging in viewing a movie that is so clumsily done that it has to show murder victims being ruthlessly stabbed. Knowing that cinema is the art of not only what is seen but more importantly what is left unseen, the image of a woman being stabbed on screen will only support your fears that indeed the culture is going to hell in a hand basket. Well, you’re partly right. It’s actually going to hell in a barf bag. Forget your troubles today and let it all out. Enjoy life, experience the small things and embrace your existence with wild abandon. The stars are showing that that aneurysm in your head you don’t know about is about to blow. Speaking of blowing, the script for Zodiac is ponderous and pointless (a double threat). James Vanderbilt’s script is to brevity what this seemingly endless novelty review is to good writing. Apparently, that stuff you ate in the middle of the night last night wasn’t bean dip (although it was lumpy and spongy). Perhaps next time you’ll won’t rely on that small refrigerator light to guide your way at 3am. You’ll spend most of your day today exploring the personal theme park ride that is your gag reflex. A little rest will do you well, when you’re not perched over the porcelain. For help overcoming your lurching guts and getting some rest, pop in the last two thirds of this film. The lazy plot and stagnant tone will lull you into a deep sleep. Please sleep on your stomach however. We don’t want you pulling a Hendrix. You’ll have moments of clarity today. Like right now when you realize that horoscopes are for morons. Some charlatan writes up vague descriptions that have no real meaning and then dimwits read these things and shoehorn their individual meanings into them. Try this, on your way home from work today think to yourself that you’ll see the number 22. Soon everywhere you look the number 22 will appear. Same thing with horoscopes, you’ll fit your life into the frame they provide. Stop with the divination idiocy and just face your life already. Things at work will fall apart in a brilliant and embarrassing public spectacle. Your hard work will be forgotten and any positive efforts you’ve offered will be for naught. Today you’re a little like Mark Ruffalo. He provides a great performance in this film but all of his efforts amount to little in face of the remainder of the production. Yes, he is the best part of the film, but this is a little like saying he’s the best violin player on the Titanic. I wouldn’t even bother going into work today. You’ll just end up in your car over your lunch break asking yourself where it all went wrong. You can do that at home and you don’t even need to get dressed.




Related Reviews:
Jake Gyllenhaal movies
Donnie Darko (2001)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)


Other Critic's Reviews
Cinema Dave
Exclaim!

Labels: David Fincher, film, Jake Gyllenhaal, movie trailer, Robert Downey Jr, serial killer

As the image above should hopefully make obvious, this is not, NOT a film for everyone. This is a very rough movie. By rough I mean it is one of the best explorations into the nature of evil I have seen put to film. Writer/Director Christian Alvart delves deep into his subject and delivers an unflinching look at the the hideousness of evil. I know this all sounds grand and I probably sound like I'm overstating things, I do not believe that I am.

The film has a very familiar foundation, a devious serial killer is captured and from his cell he plays mind games with an inexperienced cop. Alvart's plot isn't new and lifts from Silence of the Lambs and Se7en. At one point Alvart even has the murderer Gabriel Engel (André Hennicke) even directly mock his plagiarism "What did you expect? Hannibal Lecter?" Even though the music is the same, the lyrics are changed and Alvart sings a whole new tune. Unlike Silence of the Lambs, Alvart's story doesn't coddle the killer. Hannibal Lector may be one of the great film villains but he is likewise a cartoon. He is superhuman and not grounded in reality. Hennicke's Engel is as devious as Lector but far more disturbing because he is very real. It is easy to see how someone like Engel could exist in this world where Lector also feels like the stuff of fiction. This is the first of many differences that make this derivative work an equal to the film it copies.

The inexperienced cop, Michael Martens (Wotan Wilke Möhring) is haunted by a brutal murder of a young girl in his small, isolated and otherwise quiet town. When Engels is caught, Martens goes to question the killer about the murder. Engels, who has otherwise gone silent, speaks only Martens. As Martens conducts his interview Engels begins to propose that Martens, even though he is a pious and lawful man, is secretly demonic in nature. Throughout the film Alvart slips in serious questions on the roots of evil and how it develops in the hearts of good men. Martens, a strongly Catholic man, constantly warns his son that "evil begins with smallest things." If you let a lie slip through your lips you'll eventually reason that a small theft can be excused. Steal something and you can logically conclude that its acceptable to rob. It goes from there until there is no return. In his conversations Engels, fully committed to his demonic desires, infiltrates Martens thinking depositing arguments that seem logical and revealing but are really meant to expose Martens' weaknesses so he will fall. This is where the confusing title of the film comes into play. The title extends from a statement that Engels makes to Martens.

"Evil is a virus. Highly contagious. Highly destructive. You're already infected."

Engels tries to fill Martens with his diseased, soul killing evil. This puts Martens and his faith on trial. The connections between Engels and Satan and Martens and Job are clear. Engels claims to have been built by God and threatens Martens with "I am going to test you." As the evil Engels imparts in Martens begins to take root, Martens' faith is indeed tested and resolves itself in a fascinating display in the film's final act.

Again, this is a brutal film. Many people will probably be very disturbed by the subject matter. What is interesting is that there is a surprising lack of grim visuals in the movie. There are some hard moments but Alvart is very careful to avoid exploitative shots. The brutality in the film is mostly spoken. When Engels explains in detail, with in a sensual tone, the horrific crimes he has committed against small children the audience is left to imagine the crime. In a time where prolonged torture sequences are the norm, responsible choices in film making should be celebrated. There are moments of sexual intimacy that are shown in detail however. While I also thought they were handled well, they are frank and that may disturb some viewers.

I'll be honest, I am surprised to recommend this film. When I started it I thought I was going to be subjected to more mindless torture movie nonsense. What I got was a moving film with a couple of the best performances I've seen in a long time. Möhring and Hennicke both deserve great credit for giving brilliant performances in two very difficult roles. Hennicke in particular had a hard row to hoe given that he was working in the shadow of Anthony Hopkins' masterwork. The fact that Hennicke manages to make himself notable shows how strong he is as an actor.

Overall, if you're one who doesn't like psychological thrillers, the exploration of evil or just sex and violence in general, you're going to want to skip this one. If you can handle rough, adult material you will find a well written, God affirming film worth the experience.


Related Reviews:
Serial killer movies
L'Empire des loups “Empire of the Wolves” (2005)
Zodiac (2007)


Other Critic’s Reviews:
Los Angeles Times
Monsters & Critics

Labels: film, German cinema, movie review, serial killer

Mary Harmon (I Shot Andy Warhol) directs this adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis' sanguine yuppie classic with some flair. It's a tough adaptation to pull off, the "hero" is a emotionally vacant killer and the ironically superficial elements of the story simply don't translate to film well. Rich, successful, psychotic Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale), without any humor, dissects the finer points of Huey Lewis and the News as if he's describing the artistic heights of Beethoven. On film, this delicious piece of irony fails to makes its point and is frittered away. Many of the elements of the story meet this fate. Harmon gets points for trying but the film overall feels disjointed. With the jarring violence, the movie is further set off pace. By the time the story's twist comes into play the film is fatigued and Harmon seems rushed to get to the final payoff. To be fair, Harmon does well dealing with the passive scenes where yuppies are shown in the natural habitat. In particular in a scene where Bateman and his colleagues have a quiet competition to see who has the most impressive business card. Each man explains the qualities of his business card and proudly slides one out on a table. Each one out-doing the next. Harmon does well tying their masculinity to the competition and properly showing their reactions when they win or lose as the cards are displayed. She doesn't fare as well with the more psychotic portions of the story, which is probably a compliment. The way she builds and then displays the violence is a bit clumsy. The violence is presented in an over-managed, deliberate way that keeps it from being thoughtful or titillating. It's just happens. There is one thing I know about on-screen violence - it should never ever just happen and then go away. It always needs context and emotional payoff. This movie offers neither with its killings.

Bale gives a good performance and handles his off-kilter character, never letting him get too overarching. But his good work is mired in a film that simply doesn't work.


Related Reviews:
Serial killer movies
Mr. Brooks (2007)
L'Empire des loups “Empire of the Wolves" (2005)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Cinephiles
The Flick Filosopher

Labels: adaptation, Christian Bale, film, movie review, serial killer

Before I dig into the movie itself, I had to acknowledge that Charlize Theron does give a notable performance as serial killer Aileen Wuornos. It's not that she uglied-up and gained weight for the role. Her performance itself is strikingly good. I've often complained that some performers can be too good looking to be taken seriously. Their good looks are distracting and set them too far apart from the average person that having them in a common role doesn't jive - for a good example of this check out Theron in North Country. She looks exactly like what she is in that role, a model dressed up like a plebe. In this role, she buries her attractiveness and makes much out of the opportunity her mask offers. I suspect the ability to distract from her looks was one of the compelling reasons for her to take the role in the first place. Alright, I'm off on a tangent - she does a great job, noted.

The film itself is a detestable thing. Aileen Wuornos, a dim-witted serial killer, gets a sympathetic biography complete with A-List starlets. The film follows Wuornos' exploits as she carries out her crimes and drags her lesbian lover Selby (Christina Ricci) down with her. Writer/Director Patty Jenkins clearly intends on humanizing the most famous female serial killer of all time. She goes out of her way to show Wuornos, not as a gutter level whore/vicious killer but a psychologically damaged result of male sexual abuse. Jenkins' Wuornos is first and foremost a victim, a victim who strikes out in the only way she knows how, by killing other people. Now, Jenkins isn't a moron, she knows that she can't just lay out Wuornos as a product of our society and then ignore the fact the woman brutally murdered a whole bunch of men. She tries to soften her point-of-view by either making her victims out to be brutish abusers or by quickly trying to establish their humanity before their snuffed out. One of Wuornos' victims desperately explains his disabled wife can't pleasure him and he holds up a picture of his wheelchair bound spouse. This may be a factual display, I don't know, but just the same Jenkin's inclusion of it in the film and how it is presented is as manipulative as having the man cuddle a sad eyed puppy just before he's killed.

The story overall is a bumpy ride. Jenkins establishes Wuornos as a victim rather effectively, but also too forcefully. Theron's performance glosses over much of Jenkins' over directing however. The film runs into trouble when Wuornos begins to commit murders and her relationship with Selby hits the skids. When the two eventually hit the road, the film has lost much of its potency and we're left with two completely unlikable misfits arguing. These two do not make for interesting theater. Selby is a thin character, a quiet sociopath who blends into the backdrops. Christina Ricci doesn't have much to work with and seems to flounder in the role. Her results are flat and amount to little more than whining her lines and sulking. When contrasted with Theron teetering on overacting, Ricci seems to disappear altogether.

Finally, I have to mention that this film has a hilarious bit of anti-Christan bile slapped right in the middle of the story. Selby's overbearing mother is, of course, a Christian - because as we all know by now all overbearing, spiteful people are of the faith. Jenkins' couldn't have made a bigger prop if she had the role played by a cardboard cutout of Pat Robertson. What's funny about this ludicrously written part is that Jenkins', not satisfied with sticking to the run-of-the-mill Christian bigotry, Jenkins actually has the woman belch out the n-word like she's cursed with racist Tourettes. She hurriedly combines Christianity with racism and then moves on as if to say "alright, we've seen enough of this, you get the point - her mother is a Christian (who are racist by the way) and that's what screwed her up. What's interesting is that the film shows the Christian mother in poorer light that the drug abusing, murdering prostitute. At least the conniving whore gets excuses made for her behavior.

Overall, this movie seeks to justify the actions of a serial killer. Defenders will say I'm wrong and point out that the movie doesn't support her decision to kill all those men. The point here is that Jenkins and company decided to make a movie explaining this woman, and they try to get us to sympathize with her miserable life. Aileen Wuornos had a rough life to be certain, but so have a lot of people, and some worse than her. To come down on the side of the murderer, any murderer is wrong. The only reason they did it is because they believe they could score some neo-feminists points about societal abuse. What's truly pathetic, I'd go as far as to say it's horrifying, is that these idiots don't see past their urge to "express themselves" to see that the woman they so eagerly display in a wheelchair to "humanize" her dead husband has to live now knowing they made a movie glorifying his murderer and they used her disability in part to do it.

Like I said, detestable.


Related Reviews:
Serial killer movies
Mr. Brooks (2007)
L'Empire des loups “Empire of the Wolves" (2005)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Film Jerk
Movie Gazette

Labels: biography, Charlize Theron, Christina Ricci, film, movie review, serial killer

Short Review: After the first three hours, I was willing to claim I was the Zodiac killer they were looking for just to get this thing over with.

Your life is as miserable and boring as ever. Watching a deadpan movie with a running time of over two and a half hours about a murderous loser and the failed attempts to catch him is the last thing you need. Try to liven up your day by peeling that lazy butt of yours off of the couch and go outside. Its summer, why are you wasting your time inside watching movies anyway? Your sister will call today. Don’t pick up. Seriously, don’t do it. That witch will drive you nuts. Honestly, what has she ever done for you? If you weren’t blood, you probably would have abandoned her ten years ago. She’s just like another in a long line of “serial killer” movies. She plays on the worst and darkest parts of your personality, wastes your time and gives you little in return. The knowledge that you can’t make Mint Julips with Jägermeister comes about ten hours too late for you. You also discover it was a bad idea to do this experiment right before your company’s summer picnic. It is best to avoid a movie involving seeing Robert Downey Jr. overacting. His weak attempts at nabbing that best supporting actor nod may remind you of your own pathetic missteps in front of your boss. As it turns out, while your boss’ wife does indeed have a mustache, she’s not nearly as amused by it as you are. Suffice to say, you won’t get fired soon, but you can rest assured you’re never – never – going to get that promotion. Just resign yourself to your fate. The sooner you come to understand you have yourself to blame the better off you’ll be. You’re cancer, people tend to want to avoid you. Much like they will want to avoid David Fincher’s boring film. He is one of the best directors out there, but this thing is a droning, mismanaged disaster. He has too many characters over too long of a time period not doing enough. By the time the belated final resolution rolls in, the original spark of the film has already packed its bags and went home in a huff. Editing, David, its called editing. Copious amounts would have done this film wonders. Remember that thing you did with those guys with the thing that time way back over at that place? Yeah, that’s coming back to rear its ugly head. There’s nothing about a movie here, I thought I’d just warn you.

Much of the day will be like finding yourself in a murder mystery where the killer is revealed way too early, and the storyline doesn't have enough depth to support an extended act where said killer evades indictment. Like the movie, you’ll wander around for hours despondent and desperately wanting something – anything interesting to happen. The surprise left out of your brief slice of life will sap any reason for experiencing it. You will have to make your own fun today. You’re sensitive today. Yes, those uncontrollable crying fits are back. Face it, he’s not coming back. Your years of concentrating on your appearance and social status have caused your intellect to atrophy. Your mind is an unbearable hole where random thoughts go to die. Of course he left, you may be pretty and have shiny hair but you can’t talk about anything more complicated than reruns of Sex in the City. Pretty girls may have more fun but smart girls end up happier. With the intellectual vacuum you exist in, you may naturally fall back on wanting to forget your troubles by looking at some hunky guy. If you’re into that Jake Gyllenhaal goof, try one of his other movies. While he does a fine job in this, he looks like he’s been awake for thirty years. You know you’re in trouble when you’re standing next to Robert Downey Jr. and you’re the one who looks under the weather. When I say try one of his other movies, you’re going to want to avoid Brokeback Mountain as well…unless you’re into rutting cowboys. Then again if you are, then maybe your boyfriend left for entirely different reasons than we've explored here. Avoid engaging in viewing a movie that is so clumsily done that it has to show murder victims being ruthlessly stabbed. Knowing that cinema is the art of not only what is seen but more importantly what is not seen, the image of a woman being stabbed on screen will only support your fears that indeed the culture is going to hell in a hand basket. Well, you’re partly right. It’s actually going to hell in a barf bag. Forget your troubles today and let it all out. Enjoy life, experience the small things and embrace your existence with wild abandon. The stars are showing that that aneurysm in your head you don’t know about is about to blow. Speaking of blowing, the script for Zodiac is ponderous and pointless (a double threat). James Vanderbilt’s script is to brevity what this seemingly endless novelty review is to good writing. Apparently, that stuff you ate in the middle of the night last night wasn’t bean dip (although it was lumpy and spongy). Perhaps next time you’ll won’t rely on that small refrigerator light to guide your way at 3am. You’ll spend most of your day today exploring the personal theme park ride that is your gag reflex. A little rest will do you well, when you’re not perched over the porcelain. For help overcoming your lurching guts and getting some rest, pop in the last two thirds of this film. The lazy plot and stagnant tone will lull you into a deep sleep. Please sleep on your stomach however. We don’t want you pulling a Hendrix. You’ll have moments of clarity today. Like right now when you realize that horoscopes are for morons. Some charlatan writes up vague descriptions that have no real meaning and then dimwits read these things and shoehorn their individual meanings into them. Try this, on your way home from work today think to yourself that you’ll see the number 22. Soon everywhere you look the number 22 will appear. Same thing with horoscopes, you’ll fit your life into the frame they provide. Stop with the divination idiocy and just face your life already. Things at work will fall apart in a brilliant and embarrassing public spectacle. Your hard work will be forgotten and any positive efforts you’ve offered will be for naught. Today you’re a little like Mark Ruffalo. He provides a great performance in this film but all of his efforts amount to little in face of the remainder of the production. Yes, he is the best part of the film but this is a little like saying he’s the best violin player on the Titanic. I wouldn’t even bother going into work today. You’ll just end up in your car over your lunch break asking yourself where it all went wrong. You can do that at home and you don’t even need to get dressed.


Related Reviews:
Jake Gyllenhaal movies
Donnie Darko (2001)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)


Other Critic's Reviews
Cinema Dave
Exclaim!

Labels: David Fincher, film, Jake Gyllenhaal, movie trailer, Robert Downey Jr, serial killer

Labels: Dane Cook, Demi Moore, film, Kevin Costner, movie review, serial killer, William Hurt

Short Review: By the looks of it, they didn't find any minds before making this film.


This is so abundantly stupid, so fully juvenile, that it is almost beyond reviewing. A pronouncement that this film stinks is as shocking as a warning to people that the sun is real toasty..

Cast with the who’s who or who’s not who anymore, this movie is like a career obituary. Wondering what ever became of Christian Slater or Val Kilmer? This film answers your query: Not much.

I’m shocked they were able to cast this heap in the first place. I cannot imagine any actor read this script and thought to themselves “Yeah, this is going to advance the ol’ career.” Val Kilmer would have been better served doing hemorrhoid cream ads during the Super Bowl than being connected with this swamp of stupid. Like Charles Bronson making the Deathwish films, Kilmer has gone from making bad movies to simply making calls for help.

Let’s try to force our way into the inane story about a bunch of investigators stranded on an island that serves as a training ground investigators in order to hunt a fake killer only to find their fake killer is actually real. Beyond this tenth-grade creative writing plotline, we are left to behold some truly pathetic dialog and characters that are less developed than Michael Jackson’s forearms. When a character is killed it literally means nothing. There is nothing for the audience to connect to which instills a moment’s discomfort with losing anyone on screen. The grandest death in the piece elicits the same response as watching someone throwing away a used Styrofoam cup. Actually, that’s not entirely true. One can surmise that the cup had a purpose at one point and probably gave the consumer a moment of satisfaction. There, it proven: This film has less worth than a used, chewed up Styrofoam cup.

The film isn’t a complete loss. You do get to see Christian Slater get killed. I’ve always been a huge supporter of his death scenes. He should get killed on-screen more often. Usually when someone tells me he’s in a film, reflexively I hurriedly ask, “Does he get killed?”

Skip this stinker, its not worth a moment of your consideration.


Related Reviews:
Serial Killer Movies
Silence of the Lambs (1992)
Zodiac (2007)
L'Empire des loups “Empire of the Wolves” (2005)


Other Critic's Reviews:
A Nutshell Review
Calgary Reviews

Labels: Christian Slater, film, movie review, serial killer, Val Kilmer

Screenwriter: Henry Miller, and Tom Phelan
Director: Henry Miller
Actors: Willem Dafoe (To Live and Die in L.A.), Scott Speedman (Underworld), Clea DuVall (Zodiac), and Peter Stormare (Fargo)

Labels: Clea DuVall, cops, film, movie review, Peter Stormare, Scott Speedman, serial killer, Willem Dafoe

As a fan of Jean Reno, I went in wanting to like this movie. Ol' Reno let me down. This production about a detective (Jocelyn Quivrin) who joins with a fallen former detective (Reno) to delve into the Turkish mob in order to find a serial killer has some good moments, but some good moments doesn't make a movie worth seeing. There just isn't enough here to recommend the movie. Ultimately, this is a pedestrian thriller that relies too heavily on violence when it can't come up with any real substance.


Related Reviews:
Jean Reno movies
Les Rivières pourpres "The Crimson Rivers" (2000)
Les Rivières pourpres II: Les anges de l'apocalypse "Crimson Rivers 2: Angels Of The Apocalypse" (2003)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Reel Film Reviews
Beyond Hollywood

Labels: cops, film, French cinema, Jean Reno, movie review, serial killer