Short Review: Greek mythology as related by an abused teenage boy - and not a bright one at that.



Two words describe this movie:

Ridiculous

Embarrassing

This is a remake of the 1981 film of the same name which condensed and dumbed-down the tale of Perseus for modern tastes. With this effort, they didn't just dumb things down. They held it down and lobotomized it with a screwdriver and a rock.

Sam Worthington plays Perseus. Well, it's not fair to say he "plays" the role. He retains the name of Perseus and then runs around screaming while flashing the back of his thighs. That is the extent of his performance. Nearly every line is bellowed. The poor dear apparently thinks that if you yell something it equates emoting. A stupid piece of dialog said loudly is simply more clear in its stupidity.

Worthington, who most people know from his emotionally vacant performance in Avatar, is possibly the least engaging leading man of our generation. He makes Keanu Reeves seem approachable and Will Smith a versatile master of the art of acting. Worthington appeared to have come out of nowhere. One day - WHAM, the guy is in every major production of the summer. One would assume this was due to his brilliance. Nope. He's just a muscly guy who likes to announce his lines like he's trying to project over a crowd at a football game.


The story of Perseus trying to regain his humanity (he is a demi-god, born of Zeus (Liam Neeson)), is notably short on human emotion. Why? The central problem isn't Worthington, although he offers one heck of a hurdle for the audience to navigate. The script is the issue in this production. Screenwriters Travis Beacham, Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi (yes, it took three people to ruin this film), have delivered a content-free, predictable, hollow script. It isn't predictable because the tale of Perseus is known. It is predictable because every action, every turn, every event is boldly projected and executed. The scenes follow well worn action film trajectories. This makes the scenes less enjoyable, given they are without tension. Since the movie is little more than a string of perils, the lack of tension removes the one thing that could keep the audience engaged.

The story jumps from one peril to the next without much character development to glue things together. Perseus confronts Hades (Ralph Finnes) then meanders around until his zombie half-father tries to kill him, then his zombie half-father's hand turns into a giant scorpion - then bigger scorpions come then some guys who look like Tusken Radiers but not as cool show up - then they fight Medusa then they...you get the point. This is a series of events, not a story.


To make matters worse, Ralph Finnes and Liam Neeson are forced to wear costumes that make them look utterly foolish. They hung an obviously fake beard and a bulk of ultra-shiny armor on Neeson and assumed it made him look "Zeus-ish". The same goes for Finnes. He is given grubby clothes and an awkward hairline and called the job done. The two actors look like they're doing screen tests for early versions of their wardrobe. Given the dialog they have to recite, it literally feels like they're doing screen tests through much of the movie.


My final complaint, well it's not my final complaint about this movie, but it is the last one I bother with here, is about THE KRAKEN. The Kraken is talked about in hushed tones throughout the movie. It is Hades' special weapon, it is unbeatable and destroyed the Titans of old. Since the thing is talked about with such reverence by even the gods themselves, expectations that something awesome will be released at the end of the film.

"Awesome" is not the word that leaps to mind.


The Kraken is a cross between the monster from Cloverfield and the Rancor from Return of the Jedi. The Kraken turns out to be a leathery turd with fangs. Worse yet, it is a leathery turd with fangs that is subdued in mere seconds by a teeth gritting Perseus. If the dialog had been realistic at all, Perseus' first line after defeating the Kraken should have been "That's it? I don't see what everyone was making a fuss about."




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Labels: film, Gemma Arterton, Liam Neeson, movie review, Ralph Fiennes, Sam Worthington

Labels: British Cinema, Colin Farrell, film, mob, movie review, Ralph Fiennes

Perseus (Sam Worthington) battles Medusa and The Kraken in order to save the beautiful Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) in this remake of the original 1981 movie.

It is visually stunning and looks like a thrill ride. That's the good news. The bad news? It is written by the same folks who gave is the unwatchable Æon Flux, a soulless, emotionally retarded mess. The other bad news? This is directed by Louis Leterrier who's big success are The Incredible Hulk and Transporter 2.

Not a good pedigree.



Screenwriters: Travis Beacham (Dog Days of Summer), Phil Hay (Æon Flux) and Matt Manfredi (Æon Flux)
Director: Louis Leterrier (The Incredible Hulk)
Actors: Sam Worthington (Avatar), Liam Neeson (Darkman), Ralph Fiennes (In Bruges), Gemma Arterton (The Quantum of Solace), Danny Huston (30 Days of Night), Pete Postlethwaite (The Usual Suspects), Nicholas Hoult (The Weather Man) and Alexa Davalos (The Mist)

Labels: Danny Huston, film, Gemma Arterton, Liam Neeson, movie trailer, Pete Postlethwaite, Ralph Fiennes, Sam Worthington

If it steers clear of the cheap shots at our troops, this could be great. I love the look of it and the dialog sounds sharp.







Screenwriter: Mark Boal (In the Valley of Elah)
Director: Kathryn Bigelow (Mission Zero)
Actors: Jeremy Renner (28 Weeks Later), Anthony Mackie (Eagle Eye), Brian Geraghty (We Are Marshall), Guy Pearce (Memento), Ralph Fiennes (The Reader), David Morse (12 Monkeys) and Evangeline Lilly (Lost)

Labels: David Morse, Evangeline Lilly, film, Guy Pearce, Jeremy Renner, movie trailer, Ralph Fiennes

The middle of the story holds a fascinating conflict which deserves a film. The opening and end of the film are indulgent, unnecessarily drawn out distractions from a potentially great tale. The story centers on Michael Berg (David Kross), a fifteen-year-old boy in post-World War II Germany. Berg becomes ill on his way home one day* and is helped out by an older woman, Hanna (Kate Winslet in an Oscar winning performance.) She seduces the lad and the two begin a fling. All of their grunting and fondling goes on for a while and then Hanna unexpectedly ups and leaves. Berg is dismayed that his middle-aged shag doll has run off. He carries on with his life. While studying to become a lawyer, he attends a Nazi war crimes trial. Not surprising to us, but rather shocking to Berg, is that it is Hanna who is on trial. It turns out his former lover is little more than a cold heart Nazi succubus. Berg watches the trial and makes the mental note to run full background checks on middle age women who offer themselves to him in the future. The end of the film focuses on Berg as a grown man (Ralph Fiennes). Berg is now an emotionally-awkward, snickering doofus, apparently still broken from his youthful mistake.

The trial portion is very well handled and carries the potential of a great film. There's a striking conflict played out in Berg. He has a secret about Hanna that could save her, but does he announce to the world what he has done? This holds some interesting questions about the truth, and law versus morality. The film toys with this question for roughly five minutes and lets it die on the vine. The trial itself is brief and not treated with the weight it deserves. If the film had focused more intently on the trial instead of all of the other aspects of the story, this would have been a brilliant work. As it is, director Stephen Daldry (The Hours) lingers an incredibly long time on the love affair between Berg and Hanna. While this is an important aspect of the film, Daldry ponders on their lovemaking far too long. All the audience needs to understand is that he is a virginal teen, she is an older woman. She takes his innocence and basically exchanges sex from the boy for him reading books to her (she's illiterate). Daldry takes the opportunity to show the two actors completely naked in multiple scenes and plays up the eroticism like some high-budget Skinamax flick. It gets to the point where the film is about nothing other than this kid getting laid. The relationship between the two is so focused on their sexing up one another that the emotional bond between the two is weakened. This is a fatal flaw since Berg must have a deep, and believable, emotional connection in order to explain his actions for the rest of the film. Daldry expends all of his energies with the sex scenes that the remainder of the film is devoid of any real emotional punch.

Kate Winslet won a Best Actress Oscar for her performance as Hanna. This once again proves that one does not need to actually provide a masterful performance to win an Oscar, one simply needs to seem like they did. Winslet's no slouch, but this performance could have been done just about anyone. Now that I consider it, it would have been a far more interesting film if it had been cast with Selma Hayek in the lead - but that would make this into an entirely different movie. Back to Winslet - she's okay in the role, not great. The other performances are solid, but also not masterful. David Kross keeps up with Winslet and shows he can act. He will probably have a good career. He manages the transition from innocent teen to jaded young adult effectively and is a good anchor for the whole production.

Overall, this film is not worth the attention and hype it has received. The Oscars were far too generous, as are most critics. This is a lopsided, and sometimes even boring film that misses its mark. On top of all of this, the relationship between a fifteen year old and an older woman is given far too much attention. I have strict rules when it comes to the portrayal of sexuality and children in film, this includes teens. David Kross may have been of age during the filming of this production, but to show him in full-frontal nudity while portraying a kid is unacceptable in my book. I don't know what the laws were in Germany in the late forties, so it may be incorrect to call Hanna a statutory rapist - but for the sake of what my point is, I will refer to her as such. She is raping a fifteen year old boy, taking his innocence; which yes, I understand is the whole point of the story. My issue is with Daldey fawning over the sex scenes. We can be told of the relationship without having to see her sagging breasts and his dangle. It is unnecessary and it is therefore pornographic in its delivery - given that he's supposed to be underage, this is a huge problem.

I don't recommend this film. It is no where near as good as others have claimed.




* - When was it agreed that every other film will not only display someone vomiting, but when it happens we have to SEE it happen. Having the character turn away after dry heaving a little isn't enough - we have to witness the projectile leap from their lips and splatter heavily on the ground. I've noticed the vomiting shot is usually found in films that are meant to be smart and serious. It is as if the filmmakers say to the audience, "See the despair of the human condition! Witness the trouble of this character's body and soul...okay, that's done, let's go look at Winslett's aged butt."




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Labels: david kross, film, Kate Winslet, movie review, Ralph Fiennes

Nice hairdo Ed. There's an earlier version of this film called Manhunter from he late nineties starring William Petersen (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation). Its over stylized but is a fun watch. This version skips the stylization and tries to dig into the material. It was overlooked but has a lot going for it. I imagine the issue is that this is so derivative of The Silence of the Lambs that people were expecting it to live up to that level of film making. It just doesn't make the cut. Its good, not great.

Labels: Edward Norton, film, movie trailer, Ralph Fiennes

Labels: British Cinema, Colin Farrell, film, mob, movie review, Ralph Fiennes

Solid cast, good director, compelling story - looks good...but only if there's a moral statement made in the final act. The threat here is that the filmmaker will belch out some moral equivalence argument in the end and drain the movie of any meaning.

Great job casting, Ralph Fiennes and David Kross are a good match to play the same man in different parts of his life.







Screenwriter: David Hare (Damage)
Director: Stephen Daldry (The Hours)
Actors: Ralph Fiennes (Schindler's List), Kate Winslet (Titanic), David Kross (The Woodsman), Alexandra Maria Lara (Miracle at St. Anna) and Bruno Ganz (Downfall)

Labels: david kross, film, Kate Winslet, movie trailer, Ralph Fiennes

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