This is one of the great cornball films of all time. This said, it is also one of those films you should probably see at least once.

James Cameron does a masterful job of keeping to the abject stupidity of his central plot hidden by distracting the audience with a big boat sinking. The film focuses on a couple of wayward lovers, Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) who is a young, handsome hobo from Wisconsin and Rose, a selfish horrible, young, rich slut.

The movie shouldn't have been titled Titanic. It should have been titled Rose DeWitt Bukater is the Devil.

Rose is perhaps one of the great terrors of modern cinema. Her myopic lust for self gratification causes one of the world's great tragedies that lead to the torturous deaths of women and children.

James Cameron who is a brilliant director and a lukewarm intellect thought it was good to have his main character Rose follow her heart rather than follow her duty. Cameron has Rose abandon what amounts to an arranged marriage with a rich, handsome, go-getter (albeit an abusive one). She runs off with a dreamy hobo who promises...well...sex with a guy who kinda looks like a pretty girl.

If you've seen the film you may have not noticed how Rose is actually Satan with birther hips. You see, Rose opens her wares to the Jack the hobo. Following the two of them casting their souls to hell in the back of a car in the ship's cargo hold, the pair decide it is wise to get all kissy on the deck. The comely duo's time on the deck distracts the ship's crew. This leads to their not seeing the iceberg in time. This leads to said iceberg scraping the hull of the ship. This leads to children drowning in freezing water because Rose couldn't keep her legs closed.

If this wasn't bad enough, Rose survives the sinking of the Titanic. Jack offers her his piece of driftwood. After her lack of morality slaughters 1,517 innocent souls, she takes the final piece of floating refuse in the Atlantic and allows the hobo to become fish food.

If this wasn't' bad enough, Rose goes on to live her life like a happy little liberal jerk - meaning she lives for herself. The exact kind of thinking that caused her to sink the Titanic itself. So, she has learned nothing from the death of 1,517 people who were victims of her lusty wants.

If this wasn't bad enough, Rose ends the film tossing the Heart of the Ocean, a valuable blue diamond into the ocean - losing it forever. She received the priceless gem from the man she scorned for the backseat love of a girlish hobo. She gets the Heart of the Ocean from her fiancee as an engagement gift. She accepts it, this accepting him as her husband. She then, through her infidelity, kills him and then wastes his gift for the ages by throwing it to the bottom of the ocean in a sign of allegiance to a hobo she knew for a few hours.

Rose DeWitt Bukater is the devil.

What is the lesson to be learned from Titanic? Following your heart and sleeping around on your fiancee will kill other people.

All of this moral stupidity aside, the technical achievement of the film forces me to recommend it. If the technology doesn't impress you, skip this movie. It is as immoral as it is foolish.


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Labels: Bill Paxton, Billy Zane, film, James Cameron, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates, Leonardo DiCaprio, movie review, Victor Garber

The middle of the story holds a fascinating conflict which deserves a film. The opening and end of the film are indulgent, unnecessarily drawn out distractions from a potentially great tale. The story centers on Michael Berg (David Kross), a fifteen-year-old boy in post-World War II Germany. Berg becomes ill on his way home one day* and is helped out by an older woman, Hanna (Kate Winslet in an Oscar winning performance.) She seduces the lad and the two begin a fling. All of their grunting and fondling goes on for a while and then Hanna unexpectedly ups and leaves. Berg is dismayed that his middle-aged shag doll has run off. He carries on with his life. While studying to become a lawyer, he attends a Nazi war crimes trial. Not surprising to us, but rather shocking to Berg, is that it is Hanna who is on trial. It turns out his former lover is little more than a cold heart Nazi succubus. Berg watches the trial and makes the mental note to run full background checks on middle age women who offer themselves to him in the future. The end of the film focuses on Berg as a grown man (Ralph Fiennes). Berg is now an emotionally-awkward, snickering doofus, apparently still broken from his youthful mistake.

The trial portion is very well handled and carries the potential of a great film. There's a striking conflict played out in Berg. He has a secret about Hanna that could save her, but does he announce to the world what he has done? This holds some interesting questions about the truth, and law versus morality. The film toys with this question for roughly five minutes and lets it die on the vine. The trial itself is brief and not treated with the weight it deserves. If the film had focused more intently on the trial instead of all of the other aspects of the story, this would have been a brilliant work. As it is, director Stephen Daldry (The Hours) lingers an incredibly long time on the love affair between Berg and Hanna. While this is an important aspect of the film, Daldry ponders on their lovemaking far too long. All the audience needs to understand is that he is a virginal teen, she is an older woman. She takes his innocence and basically exchanges sex from the boy for him reading books to her (she's illiterate). Daldry takes the opportunity to show the two actors completely naked in multiple scenes and plays up the eroticism like some high-budget Skinamax flick. It gets to the point where the film is about nothing other than this kid getting laid. The relationship between the two is so focused on their sexing up one another that the emotional bond between the two is weakened. This is a fatal flaw since Berg must have a deep, and believable, emotional connection in order to explain his actions for the rest of the film. Daldry expends all of his energies with the sex scenes that the remainder of the film is devoid of any real emotional punch.

Kate Winslet won a Best Actress Oscar for her performance as Hanna. This once again proves that one does not need to actually provide a masterful performance to win an Oscar, one simply needs to seem like they did. Winslet's no slouch, but this performance could have been done just about anyone. Now that I consider it, it would have been a far more interesting film if it had been cast with Selma Hayek in the lead - but that would make this into an entirely different movie. Back to Winslet - she's okay in the role, not great. The other performances are solid, but also not masterful. David Kross keeps up with Winslet and shows he can act. He will probably have a good career. He manages the transition from innocent teen to jaded young adult effectively and is a good anchor for the whole production.

Overall, this film is not worth the attention and hype it has received. The Oscars were far too generous, as are most critics. This is a lopsided, and sometimes even boring film that misses its mark. On top of all of this, the relationship between a fifteen year old and an older woman is given far too much attention. I have strict rules when it comes to the portrayal of sexuality and children in film, this includes teens. David Kross may have been of age during the filming of this production, but to show him in full-frontal nudity while portraying a kid is unacceptable in my book. I don't know what the laws were in Germany in the late forties, so it may be incorrect to call Hanna a statutory rapist - but for the sake of what my point is, I will refer to her as such. She is raping a fifteen year old boy, taking his innocence; which yes, I understand is the whole point of the story. My issue is with Daldey fawning over the sex scenes. We can be told of the relationship without having to see her sagging breasts and his dangle. It is unnecessary and it is therefore pornographic in its delivery - given that he's supposed to be underage, this is a huge problem.

I don't recommend this film. It is no where near as good as others have claimed.




* - When was it agreed that every other film will not only display someone vomiting, but when it happens we have to SEE it happen. Having the character turn away after dry heaving a little isn't enough - we have to witness the projectile leap from their lips and splatter heavily on the ground. I've noticed the vomiting shot is usually found in films that are meant to be smart and serious. It is as if the filmmakers say to the audience, "See the despair of the human condition! Witness the trouble of this character's body and soul...okay, that's done, let's go look at Winslett's aged butt."




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Labels: david kross, film, Kate Winslet, movie review, Ralph Fiennes

Short Review: A very quiet and pleasant film. That’s the polite way of saying I found it to be painfully boring.


This film has received high praise from other critics and has been nominated for about a hundred awards. I think this may be due to critics being embarrassed that they fell asleep before the second act kicked in. This is not a bad film. It’s actually pretty good, but it is certainly not as great as some have claimed it to be. It is a safe, timid film without much to offer other than the simpleton’s prayer “if you believe in something hard enough, it will happen.” This is an passable movie that is worth a look if it’s in front of you but worth the praise and accolades it has received.

Johnny Depp once again shows that he is a talented and resourceful actor and delivers the goods once again. His portrayal of Sir James Barrie is interesting and likable. He is the only reason to see this film.

Some of you may love this film. Knock yourselves out. I found it to be dry and without much life. I give it a moderate recommendation but only with the understanding that I am a complete crank who doesn’t react well to touchy-feely, sentimental movies like this.


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Labels: film, Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet, movie review

Solid cast, good director, compelling story - looks good...but only if there's a moral statement made in the final act. The threat here is that the filmmaker will belch out some moral equivalence argument in the end and drain the movie of any meaning.

Great job casting, Ralph Fiennes and David Kross are a good match to play the same man in different parts of his life.







Screenwriter: David Hare (Damage)
Director: Stephen Daldry (The Hours)
Actors: Ralph Fiennes (Schindler's List), Kate Winslet (Titanic), David Kross (The Woodsman), Alexandra Maria Lara (Miracle at St. Anna) and Bruno Ganz (Downfall)

Labels: david kross, film, Kate Winslet, movie trailer, Ralph Fiennes

If you live in suburban America you're apparently second-class, boring and without live a life without value. There's no pleasure in a quiet life. There's no honor in raising children. There's nothing more pathetic than sacrificing oneself for others.

Nice.

The film follows the trials of a couple who believe themselves to be better than all of their oh so sheepish American counterparts and long to go to France where they can live free.

Geez, this thing has blockbuster written all over it. Hey you mind-numbed, Wal-Mart slaves come see us millionaires crap all over your miserable lives with this overwrought drama!


Besides, he's whining he has to work ten hours a day? Are you kidding? Working ten hours a day is a vacation.





Screenwriters: Justin Haythe (The Clearing)
Director: Sam Mendes (Road to Perdition)
Actors: Leonardo DiCaprio (The Departed), Kate Winslet (Titanic) and Kathy Bates (Primary Colors)

Labels: film, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates, Leonardo DiCaprio, movie trailer