This is one of the great cornball films of all time. This said, it is also one of those films you should probably see at least once.

James Cameron does a masterful job of keeping to the abject stupidity of his central plot hidden by distracting the audience with a big boat sinking. The film focuses on a couple of wayward lovers, Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) who is a young, handsome hobo from Wisconsin and Rose, a selfish horrible, young, rich slut.

The movie shouldn't have been titled Titanic. It should have been titled Rose DeWitt Bukater is the Devil.

Rose is perhaps one of the great terrors of modern cinema. Her myopic lust for self gratification causes one of the world's great tragedies that lead to the torturous deaths of women and children.

James Cameron who is a brilliant director and a lukewarm intellect thought it was good to have his main character Rose follow her heart rather than follow her duty. Cameron has Rose abandon what amounts to an arranged marriage with a rich, handsome, go-getter (albeit an abusive one). She runs off with a dreamy hobo who promises...well...sex with a guy who kinda looks like a pretty girl.

If you've seen the film you may have not noticed how Rose is actually Satan with birther hips. You see, Rose opens her wares to the Jack the hobo. Following the two of them casting their souls to hell in the back of a car in the ship's cargo hold, the pair decide it is wise to get all kissy on the deck. The comely duo's time on the deck distracts the ship's crew. This leads to their not seeing the iceberg in time. This leads to said iceberg scraping the hull of the ship. This leads to children drowning in freezing water because Rose couldn't keep her legs closed.

If this wasn't bad enough, Rose survives the sinking of the Titanic. Jack offers her his piece of driftwood. After her lack of morality slaughters 1,517 innocent souls, she takes the final piece of floating refuse in the Atlantic and allows the hobo to become fish food.

If this wasn't' bad enough, Rose goes on to live her life like a happy little liberal jerk - meaning she lives for herself. The exact kind of thinking that caused her to sink the Titanic itself. So, she has learned nothing from the death of 1,517 people who were victims of her lusty wants.

If this wasn't bad enough, Rose ends the film tossing the Heart of the Ocean, a valuable blue diamond into the ocean - losing it forever. She received the priceless gem from the man she scorned for the backseat love of a girlish hobo. She gets the Heart of the Ocean from her fiancee as an engagement gift. She accepts it, this accepting him as her husband. She then, through her infidelity, kills him and then wastes his gift for the ages by throwing it to the bottom of the ocean in a sign of allegiance to a hobo she knew for a few hours.

Rose DeWitt Bukater is the devil.

What is the lesson to be learned from Titanic? Following your heart and sleeping around on your fiancee will kill other people.

All of this moral stupidity aside, the technical achievement of the film forces me to recommend it. If the technology doesn't impress you, skip this movie. It is as immoral as it is foolish.


Related Reviews:
Leonardo DiCaprio Movies
The Departed (2006)
The Aviator (2004)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Ain't it Cool News
Movie House Commentary



Click here to buy your copy of
You Are What You See and learn
to change the world from your couch

Labels: Bill Paxton, Billy Zane, film, James Cameron, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates, Leonardo DiCaprio, movie review, Victor Garber