This is one of the great cornball films of all time. This said, it is also one of those films you should probably see at least once.

James Cameron does a masterful job of keeping to the abject stupidity of his central plot hidden by distracting the audience with a big boat sinking. The film focuses on a couple of wayward lovers, Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) who is a young, handsome hobo from Wisconsin and Rose, a selfish horrible, young, rich slut.

The movie shouldn't have been titled Titanic. It should have been titled Rose DeWitt Bukater is the Devil.

Rose is perhaps one of the great terrors of modern cinema. Her myopic lust for self gratification causes one of the world's great tragedies that lead to the torturous deaths of women and children.

James Cameron who is a brilliant director and a lukewarm intellect thought it was good to have his main character Rose follow her heart rather than follow her duty. Cameron has Rose abandon what amounts to an arranged marriage with a rich, handsome, go-getter (albeit an abusive one). She runs off with a dreamy hobo who promises...well...sex with a guy who kinda looks like a pretty girl.

If you've seen the film you may have not noticed how Rose is actually Satan with birther hips. You see, Rose opens her wares to the Jack the hobo. Following the two of them casting their souls to hell in the back of a car in the ship's cargo hold, the pair decide it is wise to get all kissy on the deck. The comely duo's time on the deck distracts the ship's crew. This leads to their not seeing the iceberg in time. This leads to said iceberg scraping the hull of the ship. This leads to children drowning in freezing water because Rose couldn't keep her legs closed.

If this wasn't bad enough, Rose survives the sinking of the Titanic. Jack offers her his piece of driftwood. After her lack of morality slaughters 1,517 innocent souls, she takes the final piece of floating refuse in the Atlantic and allows the hobo to become fish food.

If this wasn't' bad enough, Rose goes on to live her life like a happy little liberal jerk - meaning she lives for herself. The exact kind of thinking that caused her to sink the Titanic itself. So, she has learned nothing from the death of 1,517 people who were victims of her lusty wants.

If this wasn't bad enough, Rose ends the film tossing the Heart of the Ocean, a valuable blue diamond into the ocean - losing it forever. She received the priceless gem from the man she scorned for the backseat love of a girlish hobo. She gets the Heart of the Ocean from her fiancee as an engagement gift. She accepts it, this accepting him as her husband. She then, through her infidelity, kills him and then wastes his gift for the ages by throwing it to the bottom of the ocean in a sign of allegiance to a hobo she knew for a few hours.

Rose DeWitt Bukater is the devil.

What is the lesson to be learned from Titanic? Following your heart and sleeping around on your fiancee will kill other people.

All of this moral stupidity aside, the technical achievement of the film forces me to recommend it. If the technology doesn't impress you, skip this movie. It is as immoral as it is foolish.


Related Reviews:
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The Departed (2006)
The Aviator (2004)


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Labels: Bill Paxton, Billy Zane, film, James Cameron, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates, Leonardo DiCaprio, movie review, Victor Garber

I loved the movie but whoa does this trailer emphasize how manipulative and ultimately silly the movie really is.

Yes, it is a rather conventional ad, but the sanctimony is dripping. Hey! Look! A pretty white woman is being nice to that black oaf in the rain!





Screenwriter: John Lee Hancock (The Alamo)
Director: John Lee Hancock (The Rookie)
Actors: Sandra Bullock (Speed), Tim McGraw (Four Christmases), Quinton Aaron (Be Kind Rewind) and Kathy Bates (About Schmidt)






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Labels: film, Kathy Bates, movie trailer, Quinton Aaron, Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw

So, a bunch of 30-40 year-olds are all single despite their looking like models, being impeccably dressed and living in nice homes.

Wait, hold on...they tossed in some kids to young it up a bit.

If this interests you, you deserve what you get.




Screenwriter: Katherine Fugate
Director: Garry Marshall (Exit to Eden)
Actors: Jessica Alba (Into the Blue), Jessica Biel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Kathy Bates (Primary Colors), Bradley Cooper (The Hangover), Eric Dane (X-Men: The Last Stand), Topher Grace (Spider-Man 3), Jamie Foxx (Ray), Jennifer Garner (13 Going on 30), Patrick Dempsey (Made of Honor), Ashton Kutcher (Guess Who), Queen Latifah (Taxi), Shirley McClaine (Two Mules for Sister Sara), Julia Roberts (Charlie Wilson's War), George Lopez (Henry Poole Was Here), Taylor Swift and Larry Miller (Best in Show)

Labels: Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, film, Garry Marshall, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Julia Roberts, Kathy Bates, Larry Miller, movie trailer, Queen Latifah, Topher Grace

If you live in suburban America you're apparently second-class, boring and without live a life without value. There's no pleasure in a quiet life. There's no honor in raising children. There's nothing more pathetic than sacrificing oneself for others.

Nice.

The film follows the trials of a couple who believe themselves to be better than all of their oh so sheepish American counterparts and long to go to France where they can live free.

Geez, this thing has blockbuster written all over it. Hey you mind-numbed, Wal-Mart slaves come see us millionaires crap all over your miserable lives with this overwrought drama!


Besides, he's whining he has to work ten hours a day? Are you kidding? Working ten hours a day is a vacation.





Screenwriters: Justin Haythe (The Clearing)
Director: Sam Mendes (Road to Perdition)
Actors: Leonardo DiCaprio (The Departed), Kate Winslet (Titanic) and Kathy Bates (Primary Colors)

Labels: film, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates, Leonardo DiCaprio, movie trailer

One of the better “chick flicks” ever made. Supported by good performances from Kathy Bates, Mary Stuart Masterson and Mary-Louise Parker, this self-adaptation from Fannie Flagg works well on screen. The one huge flaw in the piece is the ending. The final resolution is horrific – absolutely horrific. It’s played as being humorous but it is despicable. Forgiving the final moments (if that’s possible) there is many of positive elements to the movie and it will satisfy most audiences.


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Labels: adaptation, chick flick, Cicely Tyson, film, Jessica Tandy, Kathy Bates, movie review

Interesting when it was released during the Clinton years, the piece is dated and useless now. John Travolta in the lead role as a Clintonesque presidential nominee is passable. The meat of the piece comes from good supporting performances by Kathy Bates, Emma Thompson and Billy Bob Thornton. A mere curiosity now, there's little reason to drag this thing out at this point.


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Labels: Billy Bob Thornton, Emma Thompson, film, John Travolta, Kathy Bates, movie review, politics

Screenwriter: Tyler Perry (Why Did I Get Married?)
Director: Tyler Perry (Diary of a Mad Black Woman)
Actors: Tyler Perry (Meet the Browns), Kathy Bates (Misery), Alfre Woodard (Beauty Shop), Cole Hauser (The Cave), Sanaa Lathan (Out of Time), and Rockmond Dunbar (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)

Labels: Alfre Woodard, Cole Hauser, film, Kathy Bates, movie trailer, Tyler Perry