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December 23, 2009
The Mutant Chronicles (2008)
Should I see it?
No.


The Mutant Chronicles


What do Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman and John Malkovich all have in common?

They're all too good to be in this listless waste.

I wrote "This thing stinks of tedium." in response to seeing the trailer. I was wrong. Applying the word "tedium" to the film would give the impression something happens over and over again - tedium would be exciting by comparison.

The 28th century is a cheap looking place where a solider played by Jane fights some mutant alien guys and leaves for Mars and stuff. The entire plot is is just the rejected parts of b-class video games.

Forget this one, assuming you can find it anymore.




Related Reviews:
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Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)


Other Critic’s Reviews:
Qwipster
Reel Film Reviews

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December 30, 2008
Burn After Reading (2008)
Should I see it?
No.


Short Review: They apparently named the film after the most commonly heard recommendation on the script.





Ethan and Joel Coen have two kinds of movies that they make. They have brilliant, well considered, monuments to the art of film making (No Country For Old Men, Fargo, Blood Simple, Miller's Crossing, Barton Fink, Raising Arizona). Then the self satisfying, inconsequential flicks they make in between (The Big Lebowski, O'Brother Where Art Thou?, The Ladykillers, Intolerable Cruelty, The Man Who Wasn't There, The Hudsucker Proxy). This is a part of the second group.

The Coen Brothers have always had seriously problems resolving their stories. The more frivolous their movie, the worse this flaw in exposed. If you watch their works you will find brilliant characterizations in the first half of the film. You will be introduced to fascinating, quirky characters who dazzle with clever dialog. The issue comes when the mechanics of the central conflict are put to work. The Coens always fumble in this regard and this leads their well crafted characters to have nothing to do in the final half of the stories. Like we have seen in The Hudsucker Proxy, The Ladykillers, The Big Lebowski and Intolerable Cruelty, the last forth of this film is patched together in a flurry of plot contraptions in order to brings things to a messy close. This lack of follow through makes for a very disappointing experience. The Coen's set a nice table but their meal is wanting.

The film centers around a collection of misfits from various walks of life. Osborne Cox (John Malkovich,) a surly CIA analyst with a drinking problem, decides to write his memoirs following a demotion at the agency. His bitter wife Katie (Tilda Swinton) is sleeping with Treasury agent Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney). Pfarrer, who is also married, is likewise cheating on his wife and Katie by meeting single women through Internet dating services. This is how he is introduced to Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand) a fitness gym employee. Linda and her co-worker Chad (Brad Pitt) discover Osborne Cox's memoir files on a misplaced CD, left in the gym by Katie's divorce attorney's secretary. The pair decide to blackmail Osborne Cox so Linda can afford to get multiple plastic surgeries so she can be more attractive, which she doesn't have to do since her boss Ted (Richard Jenkins), a former priest, is in love with her.

Phew.

What you may notice is that there is a lot of famous names but not a lot of sense coming out of that previous paragraph. That's what you get with the film. There's plenty of familiar faces but nothing worth remembering. Everyone gives a lively performance (only the Coens pull good performances out of Clooney,) but the convoluted plot mixed with the lack of a compelling conflict results in the film not being worth the effort. You can tell they've hit narrative wall in the second half because the story shifts from clever dialog and upbeat, whimsical plotting to cursing, deviant sexual references and abrupt, hardcore violence. The introduction of low material for no real purpose is always a sign that the writer is struggling to force their way past script issues. Often they are the narrative equivalent to someone shoving something aside an yelling "screw it!" Which, ironically, is what you'll probably say half way through this movie.



Related Reviews:
Other Brad Pitt movies
Meet Joe Black (1996)
Troy (2004)


Other Critic’s Reviews:
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Roger Ebert



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December 14, 2008
Movie Trailer: The Great Buck Howard
This will probably be a good film but this trailer absolutely stinks. Tell me, what is the draw? Malkovich acts like a celeb goof - looky there's that annoying Blane guy, and now Conan...and Colin Hanks looks upset - hey, look there's Tom Hanks' head...wait, its gone. The trailer is done? Wha?



Screenwriters: Sean McGinly
Director:
Sean McGinly
Actors: Colin Hanks (Orange County), Emily Blunt (Charlie Wilson's War), Griffin Dunne (Amazon Women on the Moon), Tom Hanks (The Green Mile) and John Malkovich (In the Line of Fire)


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July 15, 2008
Dangerous Liasons (1988)
Should I see it?
Yes, with caution.



This a film rich with character and fine performances. Devious French aristocrats Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil (Glenn Close) and Vicomte Sébastien de Valmont (John Malkovich) spend their time emotionally tormenting and scandalizing others. Through sex and treachery the two compete to see who is more evil, who can do the most damage on another person. When Valmont sets his sights on destroying the soon be married Cécile de Volanges (Uma Thurman) he also plots to bed the conservative Madame Marie de Tourvel. Trouble comes when Valmont falls in love with de Tourvel and his sinful plans begin to unravel. Malckovich, Pfeiffer, and Close give the best performances of their careers. Glenn Close is particularly strong in her role as deceitful and arrogant elite. There are also strong performances by a young Uma Thurman and Keanu Reeves.

Based on his play that is based on a novel, Christopher Hampton's script is intricate and literate without being stuffy. He handles the matters of sex with clever turns of the phrase and while he does get a bit bawdy he doesn't become obscene. This noted, the film deals with a large amount of sex so those sensitive to the subject should be warned. There is frank sexual activity, and nudity in the film.

This movie does a wonderful job showing how lies and cruelty can undo a person. As Valmont comes to see the path of destruction he has left in his wake, he stands as one of the best examples of remorse put to film.


Related Reviews:
John Malkovich movies
The Killing Fields (1984)
In the Line of Fire (1993)


Other Critic's Reviews:
The Washington Post
Roger Ebert



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July 14, 2008
Movie Trailer: Burn After Reading
The Coen Brothers are remarkable for their ability to switch between the deeply serious (No Country for Old Men, Blood Simple, Miller's Crossing) to the absurd (Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou). This film is about a couple of quirky gym employees who discover a CIA Agent's memoirs on a CD. All heck breaks loose when they attempt to sell the found property.



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Directors: Ethan and Joel Coen (Miller's Crossing)
Screenwriters: Joel and Ethan Coen (The Big Lebowski)
Actors: Brad Pitt (Se7en), George Clooney (Good Night and Good Luck), Tilda Swinton (Orlando), John Malcovich (Dangerous Liasons), Frances McDormand (Fargo), J. K. Simmons (Juno), and Richard Jenkins (Step Brothers)

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July 12, 2008
Movie Trailer: The Mutant Chronicles
There's a world war between the four major corporations and then they uncover some evil NecroMutants who attack and kill nearly everyone. Of course there's an old order of monks who have carried a book of ancient knowledge throughout the generations and wouldn't you know it, the tomb prophesies the coming of the NecroMutants and surprise of all surprises it also speaks of a lone hero who will destroy them. I'm getting bored just writing this synopsis. This thing stinks of tedium.









Screenwriter: Phillip Eisner (Event Horizon)
Director: Simon Hunter
Actors: Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Thomas Jane (The Mist), John Malkovich (Being John Malkovich) and Anna Walton (Hellboy II: The Golden Army)

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