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May 3, 2010
Movie Trailer: The Expendables


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May 7, 2009
The Uninvited (2009)
Should I see it?
No.



The Unwatchable.

Anna (Emily Browning) returns home after some time in a mental institution only to find her dad has taken in an cranky wife. On top of this unpleasant unpleasant surprise, the teen is being visited by the dead. This is a very conventional, and somewhat boring horror flick. It is reminiscent of a dozen other similar films and follows all the expected paths (An American Haunting, Watcher in the Woods, and The Haunting in Connecticut to name some).



Related Reviews:
Ghost movies
El Orfanato “The Orphanage” (2007)
Ghost Town (2008)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Film Jerk
Roger Ebert



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January 25, 2009
Movie Trailer: Crank 2: High Voltage
"If you can find your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in."

The important word in that sentence is "reasonably".

This line a dialog is all you need to know if this is your kind of movie or not. Statham has his heart removed and replaced with an artificial heart and he has an hour to keep the new one charged.

Stupid people need movies too.



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Screenwriters: Mark Neveldine (Pathology) and Brian Taylor (Pathology)
Director: Mark Neveldine (Crank) and Brian Taylor (Crank)
Actors: Jason Statham (Death Race), Amy Smart (Just Friends), Dwight Yoakam (Panic Room), Efren Ramirez (Employee of the Month) and Jose Pablo Cantillo (Redbelt)

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January 2, 2009
Death Race (2008)
Should I see it?
Its called Death Race. What do you think?



Short Review: Again, its called Death Race. What do you think?





Actual Review: Listen, the stupid thing is called Death Race. What do you think?


Related Reviews:
Jason Statham movies
The Bank Job (2007)
The Transporter (2002)


Other Critic’s Reviews:
Oh My News
Popcorn Junkies

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October 12, 2008
Movie Trailer: Transporter 3
"Golly, I've seemed to have lost my shirt."

This dumb but it's a glorious brand of dumb. The other Transporter movies are as meaningful as the backs of cereal boxes but without all the big words. If you watch this, see him drive the car on top of the train and you're still interested in seeing the movie, you may as well go out of your way to see it, there's obviously no helping you. If you're into cheese, you have something to look foward to now.





Screenwriter: Luc Besson (La Femme Nikita) and Robert Mark Kamen (Taken)
Director: Olivier Megaton (Exit)
Actors: Jason Statham (Snatch), François Berléand (Transporter 2) and Robert Knepper (Hitman)

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September 1, 2008
The Bank Job (2007)
Should I see it?
No.

The Bank Job

Even though they play off our lowly, mischievous natures heist films can be fun. The trick is to make the outlaws as digestible as possible, give them plenty of snappy dialog and keeps them from appear too criminal. In tandem with this, make those who the thieves are stealing from more plainly evil and "deserving" of having their toys taken away. This film sets this structure up by showing the thieves as a gaggle of inexperienced klutzes and their victims as hyper-powerful sexual deviants.

The heist portions of the film are interesting but far too brief. The sexual deviant and political maneuvering elements are too prominent and gratuitous. This leads to a stumbling story that can't decide which direction it wants to focus. At the center of this wandering mess is Jason Statham who is a charismatic anchor dragging along the bottom of this sea of narrative tangents looking for something to snag. He once again shows he's a solid leading man but his performance can't overcome the poor script.

Ultimately, this is a fast-food version of Guy Ritchie.


Related Reviews:
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Inside Man (2006)
Du Rififi Chez les Hommes "Rififi" (1955)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Reel Views
2 Reels

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August 31, 2008
Movie Trailer: Transporter 3
Looks like more of the same. A paper thin plot set up to unleash a series of peril littered with broken logic and impossible physics. Jason Statham is a solid dumb movie leading man and works well in this kind of production. Then again, there's someone out there who is the world's best person at cleaning porta pottys. It doesn't mean it's a good idea to show up and watch him work.







Screenwriter: Luc Besson (La Femme Nikita) and Robert Mark Kamen (Taken)
Director: Olivier Megaton (Exit)
Actors: Jason Statham (Death Race), Robert Knepper (Hitman) and François Berléand (The Amateurs)

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August 28, 2008
Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Should I see it?
Yes, if morality ain't your thing.

Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels

Guy Ritchie’s international debut production about a gaggle of low life Londoners who are forced into a life of crime after losing a high stakes poker game is a celebration of all that is bad in the human condition. However, this film does a good job of selling its story. With its clever camera angles, editing and story Ritchie weaves a story that satisfies...while it also debases its audience. This film introduced Ritchie's fresh voice to the world. Too bad said voice seems to be cursed by Tourettes.

Related Reviews:
Jason Statham movies
The Transporter (2002)
The Bank Job (2008)



Other Critic's Reviews:
Film Threat
Roger Ebert


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August 12, 2008
Movie Trailer: Death Race
At least you can't say they don't know they've made something big and stupid. Jason Statham has built a resume littered with some incredibly hollow action films. I bet every time his agent tells him about a new project Statham eagerly asks "does it read like it was written by a chimp? Yes? Great, I'm in!"

There's a part of me that looks at this and thinks this may be the best film ever made. I don't let that part of me out much. My life is easier that way.






Screenwriter: Paul W. S. Anderson (Resident Evil: Extinction)
Director: Paul W. S. Anderson (Resident Evil)
Actors: Jason Statham (The Transporter), Joan Allen (The Ice Storm), Ian McShane (Hot Rod), and Tyrese Gibson (Transformers)



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