Unlike the trailer for Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, which was well done, this trailer is below average. It goes on way too long, exposes too much about the story and lays down atmosphere or intrigue for the audience. This is simply a Cliffs Notes version of the film with titleboards tossed in to remind you it's a trailer.

This trailer also downplays the presence of Gollum in the story. He's in the a couple of times, but as one of the major players and one of the more visually striking ones at that, one would expect for him to be a bigger display in the ads.

Labels: Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, John Rhys-Daves, Liv Tyler, Lord of the Rings, movie trailer, Orlando Bloom, Peter Jackson, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen

Michael Bay is the Spielberg of crap. and this loud, brainless Mountain Dew commercial with a narrative is his masterwork.

The plot of this wasteful, culture-killer is simple, a big rock is going to crush Earth so in response, America sends up Bruce Willis to blow it up with nuclear bombs because...well, just because it sounds awesome, that's why.

It isn’t that the film is stupid, of course its stupid - it a film starring Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck directed by Michael Bay and written by JJ Abrams, it has stupid in its DNA. The fact that this is dumb doesn't mean much. The number of truly brain dead movies is legion. This movie is a momentous achievement because of the its ability to sustain its stupidity for the duration of its run time and does so at an extreme level. From the moment the lights dim to the second the credits thankfully begin to roll, the audience is assaulted with an unyielding dumb, a thought-smothering blanket of idiocy so thick that it can cover any struggle for logic. Michael Bay has managed to develop a redefinition of the moronic. From the plot to the dialog, every aspect of the script manages to avoid any not being completely dunderheaded.

Here is the kicker, despite the idiocy of every frame, this is a fun movie. It asks nothing from the audience but gives a lot of flashy lights and numerous moments of peril in return. The reason the film works is thanks to the two-dimensional character writing skills of JJ Abrams. He pens a gaggle of impressively thin characters and then Bay cast these shells with solid character actors to bring them to half-life. There's the cranky blue-collar dad (Willis), the virginal princess daugter (Liv Tyler), her handsome young buck (Ben Affleck), the down-to-earth sidekick (Will Patton), the frenzied genius (Steve Buschemi) and let's not forget, the black friend (Michael Clarke Duncan), tossed in for good measure. Across the board, the cast is given an easy job, play to the low expectations and recite some snappy lines that really make no sense, even in context. Its a heck of a living these people make.

I could keep going on make unspecfic attacks on the film but I think I've made my opinion clear. Allow me to sum this up and we'll all move our separate ways. To sum this up, it has Ben Affleck in it and it suits his skills.



Related Reviews:
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Hudson Hawk (1991)
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)


Other Critic's Reviews:
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Labels: Ben Affleck, Billy Bob Thornton, Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, Michael Bay, Owen Wilson, Steve Busemi, Will Patton

Short Review: Don’t make me act, you wouldn’t like me when I’m acting.


Back in 2004 Ang Lee created a desperately boring film based on the Incredible Hulk comic books. Bruce Banner was a grim guy and the Hulk was just a think necked green lug who hit stuff. Fast forward to 2008 and now there’s an attempt to reboot the failed project. Sometimes when the body is on the slab and the heart goes silent, its best to keep the paddles away and let then thing just be dead already.

There’s plenty wrong with this movie. The characters are flat, the conflict stale and Edward Norton just isn’t right for the role. The reason he was so perfect for Fight Club is the reason he doesn’t work well with this film. He’s at his best he’s portraying an emasculated Everyman who is educated beyond his needs. When he tries to be heroic, or portrays someone with something to offer society (Red Dragon for example) he falls short. He’s a great actor and when he’s in a role that feeds his niche there is no one better. Here, he is misplaced.

For all of the shortcomings the failure of the film can be narrowed down to one simple thing. Screenwriter Zak Penn (The Last Action Hero) chose to not include a first act. Literally, he stuffs the content of what should be an engaging first act into the title sequence. While the opening credits role we see Bruce Banner (Norton) strapped to a chair in a lab. He winks to his love Betty Ross (Liv Tyler) as an experiment begins. The experiment goes sour and Bruce turns into the Hulk. The Hulk then bashes everything and hurts Betty. Bruce is shown leaning over her hospital bed, wrought with guilt. He is then chased away by Betty’s father General Thaddeus Ross (William Hurt). The title sequence over, the story picks up with Bruce living incognito abroad. Penn and company obviously felt that it was wasted time setting up characters, conflicts and history. This is a critical error that decimates the whole production. Without establishing the relationships between the major players, there is no depth to the conflicts as they move forward. Because of this missing segment the film is forced to lurch into second act conflicts with no explanation or warning. The script leaps from one inexplicable battle to the next sans context.

With the recent spate of superhero movies, I hope the failure of this franchise sets some executives back on the heels and slows other productions down. There was a time when talented people gathered together to make works of art, or at least memorable pieces of entertainment. This continuous stream of comic heroes updated with modern angst is getting not only tiring but just plain pathetic.


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Labels: Edward Norton, film, Liv Tyler, movie review, superhero, Tim Roth, William Hurt

HA! HA! HA! There's an old woman in a rascal at a bowling alley and she dies of a heart attack and the rascal goes down the alley and dumps her fresh corpse into the pins! Strike! HA! HA!

NOW THAT'S COMEDY!

I think that everyone who voluntarily sees this film should be neutered and exiled.

But that's just my opinion.






Screenwriter: Tim Rasmussen (License to Wed) and Vince Di Meglio (License to Wed)
Director: Vince Di Meglio
Actors: Diane Keaton (The Family Stone), Liv Tyler (The Strangers) and Dax Shepard (Idiocracy)

Labels: Dax Shepard, Diane Keaton, film, Liv Tyler, movie trailer

Ang Lee's Hulk stunk so bad Marvel was forced to refranchise the big green guy. Ed Norton has taken scripting duties. I respect Norton's acting ability but giving him the reigns on a script, when he's never been a proven talent in the craft, is beyond me. While superhero movies don't tend to be great cultural events - who knows, maybe this one will be worth it.



Screenwriters: Edward Norton, Zak Penn (Last Action Hero)
Director: Louis Leterrier (The Transporter)
Actors: Edward Norton (Fight Club), Liv Tyler (Armageddon), Tim Roth (Reservoir Dogs), Robert Downey Jr. (Zodiac), and William Hurt (Mr. Brooks)

Labels: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, movie trailer, superhero, Tim Roth

This is the quintessential big, fat McMovie. Huge and stupid, this movie asks nothing of its audience and gives nothing in return. Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis star in this goofy flick about a group of oil drillers are sent into space with nuclear warheads to blow up a killer asteroid. The upside to this film is how it openly revels in its stupidity. The frank dumbness at the heart of this piece begs you to wallow in this thoughtlessness carnival of crap without shame. You know this is stupid, the people who made the movie know it’s stupid – everyone agrees. If you like big flashing lights, big explosions and lots of bad dialog screamed at full throat, this is the movie for you. If you’re into plot, character, dialog, or patient exposition, you’ll be better off finding something else.

Labels: Ben Affleck, Billy Bob Thornton, Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, Michael Bay, Owen Wilson, Steve Busemi, Will Patton