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August 23, 2010
The Losers (2010)
Should I see it?
No.


Short Review: Odd that they would name a movie after the production's target audience.




This is a calorie-ridden, cellulose gum stuffed, FD&C Yellow 5 soaked Twinkie of a movie - but not in a good way.

Action movies are action movies - they are big, loud, stupid and violent. This movie has all of those characteristics. It also has all of the now, sadly traditional action film events - the slow-motion group walk where everyone wears sunglasses and looks oh so, cool. The heroic slow-motion entry with two automatic weapons in each hand ready for a fight, the slow-motion fight sequence than suddenly speeds up to normal pace...

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Now that I think about it, this film could have halved its running time if they removed the slow motion sequences.

The movie is about a group of snappy dialog prone spies/soliders/assassins/psychopaths/fashion dolls who get burned by a boss during a job in Bolivia. The crew is targeted for death during a search and destroy mission. The assassination fails and the crew disbands. They regroup when a Zoe Saldana shows up. Zoe knows who tried to kill the killers and the killers set out to kill the man who tried to kill them.

A quick side note, have you noticed that in nearly every movie Zoe Saldana has been in she is covered in a glistening oil so she looks sweaty and always romps with the white guy?

So, the team heads out and hunts down the big bad guy Max (Jason Patric). Since there is no way to make Jason Patric ominous, apparently the plan was to make his character unbelievably obnoxious. Max is perhaps the most unlikeable bad guy, not because he's violent, evil and cruel - but because he spouts pea-brained dialog and is hyper sensitive. At one point he murders a woman who is holding an umbrella over his head, because she slipped. I've pointed this out in other reviews - if you are writing a bad guy, it serves no purpose showing him being so trigger happy with his minions that he will kill one over literally nothing. The minions, out of survival, will kill the bad guy the first chance they have. The dismissive murder of an underling to show a villain's psychosis also reveals their lack of leadership skills. It breaks natural logic and heightens the stupidity of a movie. Stop doing it.

Ok, so there is a team of killers who almost get killed. They identify the guy who wanted them dead and head out kill him. I assume you can write the next sentence in this sequence. This is paint by the numbers, see it a thousand times film making - and since you've already seen this a thousand times, there is no reason to make it one thousand one. Skip this.


Related Reviews:
Zoe Saldana movies
Avatar (2009)
Star Trek (2009)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Daily Mirror
365 Cinema



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May 23, 2009
Movie Trailer: Armored
This one has my attention. The premise is solid for a mass market movie. A young armored car guard gets wrapped up in a inside job to steal some money. Predictably, things go awry, but it does open itself for some good moral conflict. The fact that it is directed by Nimród Antal is icing on the cake.

The trailer gives far too much away however. I loathe trailers like this since it either means the advertising was handled by an inept crew or the film offers so little that they have to sell the whole thing to get people in the door. It would seem with this plot, the tease of the rookie locking himself in the truck would be enough to perk some interest.



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Screenwriter: James V. Simpson
Director: Nimród Antal (Kontroll)
Actors: Columbus Short (Cadillac Records), Matt Dillon (There's Something About Mary), Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix), Jean Reno (La Femme Nikita), Skeet Ulrich (As Good as it Gets), Amaury Nolasco (Mr. 3,000) and Fred Ward (Sweet Home Alabama)




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