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June 25, 2008
30 Days of Night (2007)
Should I see it?
No.



Short Review: 90 minutes of boredom.


The premise of the film is an Alaskan town that experiences a month of night is attacked by a raging gang of vampires. This is a good premise for a straight-forward pick 'em off movie, its easy to understand and easy to sell. The problem here is that the film has nothing going on besides its approachable premise.

For those of you not familiar with my terminology, a "pick 'em off" is a film that focuses on an ensemble of one-dimensional characters (The Tough Guy, The Determined Heroine With Thin Hips, The Greedy Guy, The Useful Nerd, etc.) and then introduces a mindless killing machine (an alien, zombies, or in this case a bunch of vampires.) The story then progresses to violently pick off the cast of characters one at a time. This is the basis for all zombie movies and slasher films.

Even having low expectations because they're following the pick em' off template, this film still disappoints. There two main reasons for this, first and foremost, Josh Hartnett is in the lead role. Hartnett may seem like a good bet on paper but in reality he lacks sufficient charisma to carry a film. In this instance, he's supposed to be a leader, a tough guy people listen to in a small Alaskan town. He looks more like the former high school quarterback who should have middle management job than someone who can break up a bar fight. When the vampires attack, his lack of masculine presence hollows out the whole production. When you're watching a movie where people are fighting for their lives you want more Charles Bronson and less Alan Alda.

On the other side of things, the villains are equally as pathetic. I understand vampires are supposed to be creepy white guys who mince around sucking on people. This production offers nothing inventive in their presentation of vampires. The whole gang looks like extras from the Blade series. If they're going to keep the traditional look and feel of vampires, fine, it makes sense to keep with the familiar for a dimwit piece like this. It would have been nice if the screenwriters would have given them a little depth. As it is the vampires are all just stock vampire characters without any dimension or purpose. Without properly developed villains the film is drained of any drama beyond the occasional gory death scene. If the vampires had been treated with a bit of flair or given some depth, it could have pushed this movie above just being a predictable bore.

Given that this movie takes itself far too seriously for something that offers its audience so little, I can't recommend anyone see it under any circumstances. This is a waste of time.


Related Reviews:
Vampire movies
Innocent Blood (1992)
Dracula 2000 (2000)


Other Critic's Reviews:
Hollywood Jesus
Culture Dogs

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posted by Michelle Obama's Left Nut at 6:00 PM




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