June 25, 2008
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
Should I see it?
No.
No.
Short Review: Go find the trailer of the film and play it over and over for two hours. Essentially, this is what the director has done.
***Spoiler Alert***
Its Brad and Angelina, it’s not like you’re supposed to get a good story in the first place. That said, the story, such as it is, is ruined in this review.
The movie is almost exactly one-half good, one-half bad. The meat (or should I say beefcake) of the movie is Pothead Brad Pitt and Angelina “No, I’m not crazy, trust me, I’m sane now, honest!” Jolie as an unhappily married couple who are actually fantastic international spies who end up having to kill one another…or something like that, Jolie kept distracting me and I lost a couple of the plot points. Once the two join forces and they blow up their home the film is actually over. Unfortunately, moderately talented director Doug Liman (the man responsible for having the world pretend the puggish Matt Damon is a tough guy in the sleepy Bourne movies) is too limited to understand this wholly obvious point. The film drags on for another hour after this point. Its Brad and Angelina, it’s not like you’re supposed to get a good story in the first place. That said, the story, such as it is, is ruined in this review.
Here’s a clue for Hollywood directors and writers, have a bad guy. Have a breathing, talking, visible bad guy. In this film, Pothead Brad and Human Lipgloss Ad Angelina are the good and bad guys and their respective agencies are their backdrops. Once the two come together the central conflict and the reason for watching the film evaporates. They are left battling faceless minions of an unknown evil for the remainder of the film. This is why the film goes from a mindless but enjoyable Hollywood flick to brainless and horrid shoot-em up.
The first half of the film is very tongue-in-cheek and well written for having the depth of a Bally’s Ad. This part of the movie is pure fluff but relatively harmless in its own little post-modern way. Pothead Brad Pitt is a charismatic actor and Angelina’s surgeons and make-up artists should be proud. Brad offers some endearing quirky moments and Angelina provides her “turn my head to the left and look out of the corner of eyes at the camera while offering a come hither look” look. Perpetual second-banana Vince Vaughn injects his unique brand of buddy character acting that makes me wonder which beer commercial he’s escaped from. Overall, this is just a plain ol’ stupid Hollywood movie, but a passable one.
The second half is a cartoon based on the first half of the film. Pothead and Lipgloss spend their time being chased by their former compatriots in tedious battles. In the final big battle the two models shoot roughly 6,893,886 ½ bad guys while not messing up their hair. This portion is so mindless and slapped together, Pothead is stabbed in the leg by Lipgloss and he doesn’t even yelp. He pulls the offending knife from his thigh and continues to slaughter bad guys. To make things worse for those of us who can’t help but pay attention, Pothead keeps forgetting to limp for the rest of the film.
Here is my advice, watch until their house gets blown up. That is the movie. The rest is just filler.
Related Reviews:
Films with Pothead or Lipgloss
Meet Joe Black (1996)
Troy (2004)
Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow (2004)
Other Critic's Reviews:
FilmCritic.com
Movie Gazette
Labels: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, film, movie review, spy, Vince Vaughn
posted by Michelle Obama's Left Nut at 9:00 AM
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1 Comments:
agreed, though I liked the first part of the movie so well--and enjoyed the final chase sequence in the minivan (for the lines) just well enough--to nudge it over my "nah, on balance, I really liked this one" meter. You're right, though: no other character in the whole movie is developed enough that it makes any kind of sense that they're even being hunted. What happened to the plot with their target, originally? Where was the scheming second-stringer who switched something to set them against each other and then set the wolves on them? It would have been so easy to ravel the plot, but instead....you're quite right. It's really over after the house blows up, and the rest is middleweight catharsis, and gags.
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