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June 16, 2008
Sahara (2005)
Should I see it?
Absolutely not.


Short Review:
They’ve started showing this film crashing planes so the passengers can look forward to the impact.




This film is based on Clive Cussler’s, one step above a pop-up-book, Dirk Pitt series. That connection to a book is the only literate element found in this film. I will be plain. This film is bad. It is horrid. It stinks to holy high-heaven and is a scourge against all sentient life on Earth.

Phew, it is foul.

This horrible flick is proof positive of nepotism and it makes me dry heave. It is good ol’ boy network crap like this that is killing the art form. This abomination is directed by Brett Eisner – Michael Eisner’s son. Yeah, that Michael Eisner - the Walt Disney Michael Eisner. Does anyone seriously believe Brett Eisner would be working if Michael wasn’t his pop? This is why I hate Hollywood. It is products like this that makes me consider wanting the good people of Earth to invade that den of morons and burn the industry to the ground. There are literally thousands of talented directors who would kill for a chance to prove themselves, and this son of privilege gets moved to the front of the line. It would be one thing if Brett were a talented man. They dropped millions to show he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Was all of this done to curry favor with his powerful daddy? Maybe he made this movie to get back at his father. I know I’d be ashamed if my kin belched out this putrid effort to the public.

I know that nepotism exists in all industries and the more powerful and wealthy the industry, the worse it becomes. It pains me to see it in the arts. The arts, even goofy arts like film, should try to remain committed to excellence…or at least try to give the appearance of it. Brett Eisner directing film - next thing you’ll tell me is that we’ll be asked to worship gangly hotel heiresses as sex goddesses…oh wait.

This production is cultural sludge and you should avoid it at all costs. It may look intriguing, but it will only make you dumber. You have been warned.



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