I love my readers. Even the ones who like to comment or e-mail me offline to tell me I'm an ignoramus. Heck, I even love Tessa who once suggested that I should be raped and contract A.I.D.S. because of my review of The Constant Gardener. God bless her. I don't think I've ever been that passionate about anything.

I had a child comment today on my review of The Invention of Lying. He complained about my moral concerns with the movie and my stating that the main character attempted to rape another character. I read his comment and then gave it the attention it deserved. Another way of putting it is that I read his comment, found it lacking in substance and brimming with misplaced indignation and then rejected it.

Yes, I reject comments.

The teen took a break from popping zits and figuring out how he's going to ask Molly in Study Hall if she likes him or not to write the following AN HOUR AFTER POSTING HIS FIRST COMMENT:

Oh, so you need to approve these comments? Just so you know, if you don't approve my previous comment, it will only prove that you are unable to formulate a response and cannot deal with criticism. I would appreciate a refutation in response, if you even choose to show my comment.

I get nonsensical, overly defensive claptrap like this all the time. It usually takes a day rather than an hour, but the above is pretty stock "pay attention to me" stuff.

Well, our pubescent pal has prompted me to offer this brief explanation of my comment policy. I don't believe in all of my years that I have laid out my policy before, so I'm due.

• I monitor all comments thanks to spammers and foul-mouthed ninnies.
• I monitor all comments thanks to morons who have comprehension issues.
• I monitor all comments because I pay the bills here.
• I do not accept all comments because not all comments are acceptable.
• If your point is to tell me that I am an ass, don't bother. I'm married. I have a full-time staff to handle that job.
• Just because you comment doesn't mean you get to be on my site. If I feel I have your point and don' t think its going to add to any discussion on or offline, then it hits the trash.
• I love comments correcting me, but only when they actually correct something.
• I had a long argument with a man once, on an Australian site I used to write for, whether it was acceptable for a father to allow his son to have sex with a dog. I fronted the "no sex with dogs" brigade. Since that horrible experience, I am not in favor of arguing with strangers if they clearly are amoral nincompoops. Please don't argue against common decency. While you think you're being open-minded, you're just being a dink.
• Finally, I reserve the right to reject your comment if I get the feeling it will irk you. I find that funny.

There we are. That should clear things up. Oh, and to my teeny-bop reader - thanks for stopping in. I appreciate your comment and hope you come back.






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