Short Review: Whiteout - appropriate title since that is what they needed to use on about 60% of the script.


The cold, barren landscape of the Arctic in the film was either a metaphor for the amoral void of the human soul, or it was a metaphor for the fruitless, blank script. I couldn't tell.

U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale) oversees an research compound in Antarctica. She is about to leave when, you guessed it, a killer begins bumping people off. Stetko has to solve the mystery before the sun sets - when the sun goes down it doesn't come back up for six months. The timing device of the sun setting is nice, but ultimately useless given that she shouldn't have too much trouble figuring out whodunit. Heck, I figured it out in less than three minutes and I wasn't even there.

This is a very conventional thriller. Which means it is predictable and dopey. At the risk of sounding lecherous, the only moment of note is a flagrant butt-shot of Beckinsale in her undies. I don't point this out because I'm a mouth-breathing college dorm monkey whooping every time I see a half-naked chick. I note this because the shot of her butt is soooo obvious, soooo choreographed. They couldn't have been more heavy-handed if they put arrows on the screen pointing at her with the sound of a studio audience bellowing "whooooooo!"

Mystery, mystery, snow, mystery, KATE BECKINSALE'S BUTT, mystery, snow, mystery, mystery.

Do not bother yourself with this production. At its best it is a stock piece of work.



Related Reviews:
Kate Beckinsale movies
Underworld (2003)
Vacancy (2007)


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Labels: film, Kate Beckinsale, movie review, Tom Skerritt