June 5, 2008
The Golden Compass (2007)
Should I see it?
Double No.
One "No" because of its message
Another "No" because it stinks like a used cat box full of burnt hair
There's two different flanks on this production I can attack from, and attack I will. The first is the belligerent anti-Christian elements of the movie. I understand that many don't really care about this since, as we've all come to know, Christians have it coming - with all of their morals and wanting to do the right thing and following that uppity Jew who's the one any only Christ and whatnot. Since I'm a Christian, I do consider attacks on the faith serious, even when they're cleverly disguised as embarrassingly horrid family-friendly movies. The other angle I can, and will, come at this film from is from its status as a movie on its own. No Christian bias - just as a movie, stand alone, this is shockingly sophomoric.
Double No.
One "No" because of its message
Another "No" because it stinks like a used cat box full of burnt hair
Short Review: Ironic that a movie steeped in anti-Christian thought would be so preachy.
There's two different flanks on this production I can attack from, and attack I will. The first is the belligerent anti-Christian elements of the movie. I understand that many don't really care about this since, as we've all come to know, Christians have it coming - with all of their morals and wanting to do the right thing and following that uppity Jew who's the one any only Christ and whatnot. Since I'm a Christian, I do consider attacks on the faith serious, even when they're cleverly disguised as embarrassingly horrid family-friendly movies. The other angle I can, and will, come at this film from is from its status as a movie on its own. No Christian bias - just as a movie, stand alone, this is shockingly sophomoric.
This film is propaganda. There is no other fair way of describing this effort. Now, someone who wants to lob a partially cobbled together defense of the film may respond that all films are a form of propaganda. To a degree, this is true. All films have a worldview and that worldview is promoted by the work. This film however, is bald-faced propaganda with no illusion of fairness, and no counterpoints. The purpose of the film is to establish the groundwork for a series of movies - geared towards children - that defile the Christian faith. Writer/Director Chris Weitz (American Pie) had hoped to make an atheistic version of Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia. His opus wouldn't be some clever analogy, speaking vaguely of sin and redemption, but one that would carry its agenda on its sleeve.
The film, and the ones that were to follow it had this one not bombed so completely, was based on the series of books by atheist author Philip Pullman. The books, and this film, tell the tale of little Lyra Belacqua, a precocious girl who lives at a college. She hears a conversation about a mystical particle that has the ability to unite the dimensions of the universe. She begins a journey to find said particle and to rescue her friend who has been kidnapped...or something like that, there's armored bears and all matter of goofy people, its all a hod podge of half-baked fantasy gunk thrown together. At its heart, its about a girl looking for this particle while dealing with the evil machinations of the horrible Magisterium, a cruel theocracy which aims to rule the world.
This story may work on paper, but on screen it appears tired and forced. Chris Weitz does a horrible job selling every aspect of this film. His script is rushed and presumptive and its delivery is distractingly pedestrian. The fantasy elements of the film are shoved at the audience with an abrupt hand, as if Weitz were simply barking out the rules of the world - "everybody's got a cat or mouse or monkey or whatever hanging around them all the time - they're called Demons, they're supposed to be cool - got it - alright now, there's this thing called the Magisterium - they're religious - they're bad - got it - okay, now..." No patience at all. The parts of the narrative that aren't fantastic, the human element, are stock and boring. There's no charm at all. The relationships aren't supported by any emotional connection. They never rise above seeming written rather than organic and real. This combined with the mishandled fantasy portions are what doom this film to the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.
On the subject of the bargain-bin, Nicole Kidman fronts this movie. She's the Dan Ackroyd of modern film. This actress seems intent on making so many bad movies that it comes to define her rather than the fact she was screwed up enough to be married to Tom Cruise. Kidman is a sign of a bad production. Her choices are almost all overly agendized (yes, I know it not a real word) films that also have the distinction of not being well made (The Stepford Wives, The Interpreter, Eye's Wide Shut, The Peacemaker, Happy Feet, Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus). This is just another turkey feather in her cap. Kidman saunters around the screen trying to ooze villainy. She just looks like an aging actress attempting to be noticeable. Her performance is lifeless except for brief moments of snottiness. Opposite her in the cast is Dakota Blue Richards as Lyra. Richards is a child actress and comes across as such. She's talented enough to maintain her scenes, but not charismatic enough to get us to care. The poor thing is hampered by the blocky script so I can't come down on her too hard. Even the greatest actors can be tripped up by poor dialog.
Overall, this movie is almost too boring to count as being an embarrassment. Even if you don't care about the fumbling agenda, heck, even if you support it, this movie is simply at its core just a bad flick. It fails to sell itself and it does so with a misplaced haughtiness that serves to make their missteps just that much more irritating. Skip this one with extreme prejudice.
Related Reviews:
Anti-Christian films
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Stigmata (1999)
Other Critic's Reviews:
Ill-Informed Gadfly
Christianity Today
Labels: Daniel Craig, film, movie review, Nicole Kidman, The Golden Compass
posted by Michelle Obama's Left Nut at 7:26 AM
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